So, you have a problem or projects that has you stumped? Or you are not quite satisfied with some of your solutions? Try these ideas:
1.Gather Information: you might not have enough information about your project/problem to come up with a great creative solution. Exercise: Go to a source of information you don’t typically use. When is the last time you went to a library? Is there a government agency that has related information? How about a local community college, is there an instructor that teaches something connected to your subject? Clerks at bookstores are often very helpful. There may be trade magazines addressing your area of interest.
2. Be Active: yes, you read correctly. Your brain uses a lot of oxygen and does not work well when undernourished. Exercise: Go do something active and FUN! This will get the blood flowing and when you have fun, your creative juices start flowing. Do something that you haven’t done in long time: dance, roller skate, hike, ride horseback, garden, or ride a bike.
3. Change your viewpoint: As Einstein is quoted as saying: "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." Your perception determines the path to a problem’s solution. Exercise: Look at your problem from another point of view. What would your problem look like if you were a different person? Imagine…from the viewpoint of a child, a co-worker, your dog, a gambler, a professional athlete, etc. This may sound silly, the point is to shake up your normal routine and help your brain create new pathways of thought.
4. Compare and Contrast: Compare your problem/issue/project to something very different; an object or a concept. Through juxtaposition, you may find combinations you never saw before. Exercise: Grab a blank sheet of paper. Write your problem at the top. Next to it write an unrelated idea such as “shoe”, “the national highway system”, “a candy bar”, “cat litter”….you get the idea! Underneath write every way you can think that these two things are alike. Remember to have fun. This is simply another method of changing your viewpoint as well as generating more ideas.
5. Be Visual: Thinking is very fluid and visual, making use of symbols and pictures instead of words. Give your problem a color…even a smell! What shape is it? What does it feel like to the touch? Exercise: This is best done with a large sheet of paper or a white board. Use a regular piece of paper if that’s all you have. Draw a rectangle in the center and label it with your problem/project. Draw at least 5-6 radiating lines coming out from the box. Label these lines as different aspects of your project. For instance, if the problem is Planning a Wedding on a Tight Budget, some of the radiating lines could be Food, Entertainment, and Wedding Dress. If the problem is Building a Team at work, some of the lines could be Collaboration, Productivity, and Communication. At the end of each line write whatever you think needs to happen with that area. This exercise can help you see the big picture as well as prioritize all the parts of your project.
6. Generate LOTS of ideas: You have gathered information, pumped up your enthusiasm and reviewed your problem from many angles. It’s time to really let loose with ideas. Exercise: Brainstorm! I mean REALLY brainstorm. Don’t just toss out a handful of ideas and call it quits. Put some energy into it. Collaboration is good for this as everyone will get some different ideas. Hand everyone a piece of paper (preferably large, that you can stick to the wall). Set a time limit. Allow enough time to get plenty of ideas but not so much time that you judge the ideas coming out of you (5-10 minutes). Also set a goal for the number ideas, a goal that will force you to work fast. Speed is important as well as reserving any judgment.
7. Give it to your subconscious: Let you subconscious mind have another crack at it. You have plenty of information and ideas. It may be challenging to pick the best course of action. Exercise: Sleep on it! Let your mind have it while you are resting. For this to really work you must do a review just before going to bed and place a notebook by your bed so you can jot down ideas if you wake up during the night and first thing in the morning. Intend that you will have some answers when you wake up. As you wake up, you may have to catch the ideas in the half-awake state. The notebook is right beside you so you won’t lose any good thoughts.
Congratulations! You came up with some very creative solutions to your project. You can repeat this process with any subject.
About The Author
By Lucretia Torva. I have a Master of Fine Art from the University of Illinois. I have taught college level art courses, helping hundreds of people tap into their creative abilities. Check out my site and get on my mailing list for more ideas and information: http://www.CreativePowerGenius.com
Monday, August 4, 2008
The Truth About Failure by: Ada Porat
Every experience we term ‘failure' holds a core of liberating truth within. The next time you feel as if you have somehow failed, review these truths and you will see why you do not need to fear failure!
There is no such thing as failure. The Course in Miracles teaches that there is no such thing as failure; there are only learning lessons. Failure implies a fixed state of affairs that invites judgment and suffering. In reality, everything in the world is a work in progress. Even when it feels like the force of life might crush you, these trying moments form part of a broader spectrum that can help you discover your true strength.
You can always start over again. You can start over in any area of your life, at any time. You have been endowed with the power of free choice. When you choose to drive down one street and find it clogged with traffic, you can choose to go down another road. Life is no different! If one choice seems to lead you down a dead-end, you can choose again.
All judgments are self-judgments. When you see yourself as a failure, you are standing in judgment over yourself. Instead of judging whether your effort is successful or not, focus on what you have learned from the experience. Then, look for ways you can apply what you have learned to make your next step more meaningful.
Forgive yourself. The Greek philosopher Socrates taught that each individual chooses only the good, based on their understanding of that good. Ask yourself whether you did your best with what you knew at the time. If you can answer ‘yes,' forgive yourself for any self-judgment. If you did not act in the most responsible manner, decide what changes you need to make to remedy the situation, and then forgive yourself, resolving to apply the changes needed to move forward.
Give up the label. The pain of thinking of yourself as a failure can exist only for as long as you cling to it. Instead of looking at the circumstance in simplistic terms as success or failure, look at the situation from a broader perspective. You will find that there was a silver lining to even the darkest cloud. Once you can observe the experience from a larger viewpoint, you can let go of the limiting label of failure.
Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Even in the midst of an experience that feels like failure, you are learning, growing and expanding. If you look past the initial disappointment, you will find valuable ways in which you have grown. Perhaps the situation taught you the value of patience, or of surrendering to a Higher Power. Give thanks for what you have learned. When you can give thanks for the lessons learned or the qualities developed during the very times you struggled for survival, you will find the freedom to move forward.
Find the gift in the experience. The Universe is made up of energy, and energy can never be destroyed; it simply changes form. It means that when one door closes, another is bound to open! Perhaps the "failed" relationship is offering you the opportunity to attract a relationship that is more honoring to your being. If you have just been laid off work, the gift could be the opportunity to find work that is more appropriately aligned to your values.
Focus on what you want more of. It is your perception of failure that empowers it, because whatever you choose to focus on, you energize. Instead of focusing on failure, why not focus on the success you aspire to instead? By focusing on the desired outcome, you will find it easier to discover the action steps that lead to it.
About The Author
Ada Porat is a holistic health practitioner and life balance coach with extensive international teaching and clinical experience. She uses body/mind/spirit techniques to help clients enjoy succesful living. For more information, visit http://www.AdaPorat.com or call (602) 283-4628 MST.
There is no such thing as failure. The Course in Miracles teaches that there is no such thing as failure; there are only learning lessons. Failure implies a fixed state of affairs that invites judgment and suffering. In reality, everything in the world is a work in progress. Even when it feels like the force of life might crush you, these trying moments form part of a broader spectrum that can help you discover your true strength.
You can always start over again. You can start over in any area of your life, at any time. You have been endowed with the power of free choice. When you choose to drive down one street and find it clogged with traffic, you can choose to go down another road. Life is no different! If one choice seems to lead you down a dead-end, you can choose again.
All judgments are self-judgments. When you see yourself as a failure, you are standing in judgment over yourself. Instead of judging whether your effort is successful or not, focus on what you have learned from the experience. Then, look for ways you can apply what you have learned to make your next step more meaningful.
Forgive yourself. The Greek philosopher Socrates taught that each individual chooses only the good, based on their understanding of that good. Ask yourself whether you did your best with what you knew at the time. If you can answer ‘yes,' forgive yourself for any self-judgment. If you did not act in the most responsible manner, decide what changes you need to make to remedy the situation, and then forgive yourself, resolving to apply the changes needed to move forward.
Give up the label. The pain of thinking of yourself as a failure can exist only for as long as you cling to it. Instead of looking at the circumstance in simplistic terms as success or failure, look at the situation from a broader perspective. You will find that there was a silver lining to even the darkest cloud. Once you can observe the experience from a larger viewpoint, you can let go of the limiting label of failure.
Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Even in the midst of an experience that feels like failure, you are learning, growing and expanding. If you look past the initial disappointment, you will find valuable ways in which you have grown. Perhaps the situation taught you the value of patience, or of surrendering to a Higher Power. Give thanks for what you have learned. When you can give thanks for the lessons learned or the qualities developed during the very times you struggled for survival, you will find the freedom to move forward.
Find the gift in the experience. The Universe is made up of energy, and energy can never be destroyed; it simply changes form. It means that when one door closes, another is bound to open! Perhaps the "failed" relationship is offering you the opportunity to attract a relationship that is more honoring to your being. If you have just been laid off work, the gift could be the opportunity to find work that is more appropriately aligned to your values.
Focus on what you want more of. It is your perception of failure that empowers it, because whatever you choose to focus on, you energize. Instead of focusing on failure, why not focus on the success you aspire to instead? By focusing on the desired outcome, you will find it easier to discover the action steps that lead to it.
About The Author
Ada Porat is a holistic health practitioner and life balance coach with extensive international teaching and clinical experience. She uses body/mind/spirit techniques to help clients enjoy succesful living. For more information, visit http://www.AdaPorat.com or call (602) 283-4628 MST.
Mental Health And Self Improvement by: Sukbinder Singh
No matter what part of society you operate in, mental health care is one of the most ignored issues that there is. I know this might seem like an excessive generalization, but think about it. If people are sick - even if they just have a minor cold - they often go to the doctor. At the very least, they might take a sick day. With mental health disorders, however, illness is ignored until it reaches a critical level.
Basically, mental illnesses are completely acceptable as long as you can still function in your job. If you constantly had sinus pain, congestion, and a runny nose, people would think that you were insane if you didn't go to the doctor. Nonetheless, there are people with neurotic conditions that last their whole lives who never seek any mental health counseling.
This is why it is so important to educate people on the importance of health mental. Mental health outreach is crucial. Everyone, from victims of torture and horrible physical abuse to people who have grown up in a fairly normal and healthy environment, runs into a psychological issue at some point in their life. It is estimated to be practically epidemic in our society. Depression mental health issues account for hundreds of thousands of missed workdays every year, and suicide has become a common preventable cause of death. If you know someone who has a psychological health problem, it is important that you do everything in your power to get them into therapy. Undiagnosed mental health problems can put an incredible strain on the patient and the community.
Unfortunately, our society has an absence of mental health support. There is emergency mental health care available almost everywhere, but once you're out of that critical stage, unless you have extremely good insurance, it is hard to be covered. The philosophy is basically to give you a pill and forget about it. Back even a couple decades ago, health care mental was much better. People could get full courses of therapy to help them deal with chronic mental health problems. The problem is that the pharmaceutical companies and the health care providers are more concerned with profit than with people. It is cheaper to write out a prescription for Prozac than to actually get to the root of a mental issue. Until our society changes its attitudes about psychological health, things will only continue to get worse.
SO...What do we do? You and i can take the matter of mental health,and self improvement,and take care of ourselfs,if the problem is not too bad.Self esteem,confidence,including the power of 'positive thinking' can all be improved,with tools like NLP,a "mind tool",what i like to call it,which changed a person like 'Anthony Robbins',to great heights,as we all know.But even the best garden in the world,needs to be maintained..to stay in good shape.
From Sukbinder SINGH
http://wWw.The-Better-Mind.com.
Self Improvement Made Easy.
About The Author
Mr Sukbinder Singh, Owner of Self Improvement site http://wWw.The-Better-Mind.com. Writer on various subjects.
Basically, mental illnesses are completely acceptable as long as you can still function in your job. If you constantly had sinus pain, congestion, and a runny nose, people would think that you were insane if you didn't go to the doctor. Nonetheless, there are people with neurotic conditions that last their whole lives who never seek any mental health counseling.
This is why it is so important to educate people on the importance of health mental. Mental health outreach is crucial. Everyone, from victims of torture and horrible physical abuse to people who have grown up in a fairly normal and healthy environment, runs into a psychological issue at some point in their life. It is estimated to be practically epidemic in our society. Depression mental health issues account for hundreds of thousands of missed workdays every year, and suicide has become a common preventable cause of death. If you know someone who has a psychological health problem, it is important that you do everything in your power to get them into therapy. Undiagnosed mental health problems can put an incredible strain on the patient and the community.
Unfortunately, our society has an absence of mental health support. There is emergency mental health care available almost everywhere, but once you're out of that critical stage, unless you have extremely good insurance, it is hard to be covered. The philosophy is basically to give you a pill and forget about it. Back even a couple decades ago, health care mental was much better. People could get full courses of therapy to help them deal with chronic mental health problems. The problem is that the pharmaceutical companies and the health care providers are more concerned with profit than with people. It is cheaper to write out a prescription for Prozac than to actually get to the root of a mental issue. Until our society changes its attitudes about psychological health, things will only continue to get worse.
SO...What do we do? You and i can take the matter of mental health,and self improvement,and take care of ourselfs,if the problem is not too bad.Self esteem,confidence,including the power of 'positive thinking' can all be improved,with tools like NLP,a "mind tool",what i like to call it,which changed a person like 'Anthony Robbins',to great heights,as we all know.But even the best garden in the world,needs to be maintained..to stay in good shape.
From Sukbinder SINGH
http://wWw.The-Better-Mind.com.
Self Improvement Made Easy.
About The Author
Mr Sukbinder Singh, Owner of Self Improvement site http://wWw.The-Better-Mind.com. Writer on various subjects.
A Few Easy Steps To Active Listening by: Kim Knight
It is not very often that you come across someone who really listens to you. Most people generally feel like they are not being heard. Listening actively is one of the best gifts you could ever offer to someone. With a few easy steps you can learn how to listen well to others. Listen for the following:
• What they are saying • What they are not saying • How they are saying • What their bodies are showing you • Their tone of voice • Are they blaming something or someone or • Are they accepting responsibility • What inspires them and motivates them • What frightens or restricts them.
Most importantly listen for their magnificence and for the extraordinary qualities they possess. AND ... let them know how well they are doing. It is all too common to give others advice and to point out where they are going wrong. Make them aware of their uniqueness, accomplishments and successes, no matter how small they may be. Just for once, hold back on passing judgment, opinion and of giving advice. Listen to what the person is saying. Tune into them, be present and don't think of all the hundreds of other things you might need to be doing that day. By doing this, the person will feel cared for, understood and welcomed. Let them speak 80% of the time and give effective feedback 20% of the time. Not an easy task, but I am sure you will also gain from holding your tongue, not jumping in at every opportunity and interrupting.
Really try and understand what they are trying to say. Ask them to elaborate on what they mean and help to move them out of a space of worry, stress and anxiety. Pay close attention to what you hear, what you notice and search for ways of responding that will help them to make decisions. By waiting for others to finish off their own sentences and by giving them an opportunity to be truly heard and understood, you will be giving them a chance to feel like they really do matter and do count. A difficult or impossible task, some may say, but with willingness and practice you can do it and it works! Not only for them, but for you too - in ways you could never imagine. Try it out!
About The Author
Kim Knight is a Successful Personal Life Coach. Her Ebook, How To Be An Extraordinary Coach – 450 Powerful Questions is popular with those wanting to change their life or the lives of others. Discover The Secrets To Unleash The Powerful Person In You! Sign up for Kim Knight’s FREE Self -Coaching Strategies by just visiting her website at: http://www.coachtogreatness.com
You can also contact her directly at kimknightcoaching@gmail.com
• What they are saying • What they are not saying • How they are saying • What their bodies are showing you • Their tone of voice • Are they blaming something or someone or • Are they accepting responsibility • What inspires them and motivates them • What frightens or restricts them.
Most importantly listen for their magnificence and for the extraordinary qualities they possess. AND ... let them know how well they are doing. It is all too common to give others advice and to point out where they are going wrong. Make them aware of their uniqueness, accomplishments and successes, no matter how small they may be. Just for once, hold back on passing judgment, opinion and of giving advice. Listen to what the person is saying. Tune into them, be present and don't think of all the hundreds of other things you might need to be doing that day. By doing this, the person will feel cared for, understood and welcomed. Let them speak 80% of the time and give effective feedback 20% of the time. Not an easy task, but I am sure you will also gain from holding your tongue, not jumping in at every opportunity and interrupting.
Really try and understand what they are trying to say. Ask them to elaborate on what they mean and help to move them out of a space of worry, stress and anxiety. Pay close attention to what you hear, what you notice and search for ways of responding that will help them to make decisions. By waiting for others to finish off their own sentences and by giving them an opportunity to be truly heard and understood, you will be giving them a chance to feel like they really do matter and do count. A difficult or impossible task, some may say, but with willingness and practice you can do it and it works! Not only for them, but for you too - in ways you could never imagine. Try it out!
About The Author
Kim Knight is a Successful Personal Life Coach. Her Ebook, How To Be An Extraordinary Coach – 450 Powerful Questions is popular with those wanting to change their life or the lives of others. Discover The Secrets To Unleash The Powerful Person In You! Sign up for Kim Knight’s FREE Self -Coaching Strategies by just visiting her website at: http://www.coachtogreatness.com
You can also contact her directly at kimknightcoaching@gmail.com
The Power of Commitment by: Tony Mase
Not long ago, a young friend wrote me saying something like this...
"Hi Tony, I wanted to share a quote with you."
"You're probably already familiar with it, but, in case you're not, I think you'll like it because it's similar to one of your favorite quotes by Wallace D. Wattles."
"Here it is:"
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way."
"I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:"
"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!"
I was already familiar with this quote by W. H. Murray (William Hutchinson Murray, 1913-1996) from his 1951 book entitled "The Scottish Himalayan Expedition", but, until my young friend's email, I'd long forgotten just how good it was.
Did you ever wonder why most people don't get what they want (and, quite frankly, most people don't!)?
Well...
I'll tell you why...
I'll tell you *exactly* why...
Most people don't get what they want because they've never made a *firm decision* as to *exactly* what it is that they want.
In other words...
They don't *really* know what they want.
They may think they do...
But...
The bottom line is...
They don't!
And...
Out of the very few who've made a *firm decision* as to *exactly* what it is that they want...
Even fewer...
Only a tiny handful...
Have *committed* themselves to getting it by *beginning* to move toward what they want...
Thus...
Tapping into the power within themselves...
The power that causes, as W. H. Murray wrote:
"A whole stream of events issues... raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance..."
Of all that Wallace D. Wattles wrote, there's one passage, the one my young friend was referring to, that I refer to more than all the others combined. I've quoted it or from it in my replies to hundreds of questions. It forms the very "core" of my personal philosophy.
Here it is...
It comes from his book "The Science of Being Great":
"Have perfect faith in yourself and in your ability to cope with any combination of circumstances that may arise. Do not be disturbed if you are alone; if you need friends they will come to you at the right time. Do not be disturbed if you feel that you are ignorant; the information that you need will be furnished you when it is time for you to have it. That which is in you impelling you forward is in the things and people you need, impelling them toward you. If there is a particular man you need to know, he will be introduced to you; if there is a particular book you need to read it will be placed in your hands at the right time. All the knowledge you need will come to you from both external and internal sources. Your information and your talents will always be equal to the requirements of the occasion. Remember that Jesus told his disciples not to worry as to what they would say when brought before the judges; he knew that the power in them would be sufficient for the need!
s of the hour."
That very same power is in you!
So...
"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!"
Copyright (c) 2007 Tony Mase
About The Author
Tony Mase is a serious student of the works of Wallace D. Wattles and the publisher of "The Science of Abundant Life" ebook by Wallace D. Wattles... http://www.thescienceofabundantlife.com
"Hi Tony, I wanted to share a quote with you."
"You're probably already familiar with it, but, in case you're not, I think you'll like it because it's similar to one of your favorite quotes by Wallace D. Wattles."
"Here it is:"
"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way."
"I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:"
"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!"
I was already familiar with this quote by W. H. Murray (William Hutchinson Murray, 1913-1996) from his 1951 book entitled "The Scottish Himalayan Expedition", but, until my young friend's email, I'd long forgotten just how good it was.
Did you ever wonder why most people don't get what they want (and, quite frankly, most people don't!)?
Well...
I'll tell you why...
I'll tell you *exactly* why...
Most people don't get what they want because they've never made a *firm decision* as to *exactly* what it is that they want.
In other words...
They don't *really* know what they want.
They may think they do...
But...
The bottom line is...
They don't!
And...
Out of the very few who've made a *firm decision* as to *exactly* what it is that they want...
Even fewer...
Only a tiny handful...
Have *committed* themselves to getting it by *beginning* to move toward what they want...
Thus...
Tapping into the power within themselves...
The power that causes, as W. H. Murray wrote:
"A whole stream of events issues... raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance..."
Of all that Wallace D. Wattles wrote, there's one passage, the one my young friend was referring to, that I refer to more than all the others combined. I've quoted it or from it in my replies to hundreds of questions. It forms the very "core" of my personal philosophy.
Here it is...
It comes from his book "The Science of Being Great":
"Have perfect faith in yourself and in your ability to cope with any combination of circumstances that may arise. Do not be disturbed if you are alone; if you need friends they will come to you at the right time. Do not be disturbed if you feel that you are ignorant; the information that you need will be furnished you when it is time for you to have it. That which is in you impelling you forward is in the things and people you need, impelling them toward you. If there is a particular man you need to know, he will be introduced to you; if there is a particular book you need to read it will be placed in your hands at the right time. All the knowledge you need will come to you from both external and internal sources. Your information and your talents will always be equal to the requirements of the occasion. Remember that Jesus told his disciples not to worry as to what they would say when brought before the judges; he knew that the power in them would be sufficient for the need!
s of the hour."
That very same power is in you!
So...
"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!"
Copyright (c) 2007 Tony Mase
About The Author
Tony Mase is a serious student of the works of Wallace D. Wattles and the publisher of "The Science of Abundant Life" ebook by Wallace D. Wattles... http://www.thescienceofabundantlife.com
Get Ahead with Time Management by: John Mehrmann
Print out this quick tip to get ahead with time management and try it for one week to see how it works for you. It can take less than five minutes for you to get ahead of your projects, your schedule and your competition.
Five Minutes in the Morning
Do it first thing in the morning, maybe as you are enjoying a cup of coffee or sitting at your desk and mentally preparing for your day. Get a notebook and pen ready. Do not get distracted by email or phone. Prepare to donate five minutes or less of your time to yourself. Go ahead, you are worth it.
Some people prefer to do this exercise at the end of each day and that is not a problem. I suggest doing this at the very beginning of each day because it sets the tone for the rest of your day. It is more effective to feel rushed by the desire to get started on your activities than to feel rushed by the distractions of what is really on your mind at the end of the day.
Your List of Things to Do Tomorrow
Many people find it effective to make a daily list of things to do today. It can be helpful in keeping track of important activities, meetings or chores that need to be completed. It also creates a feeling of accomplishment as items get checked off the list one by one. It is always nice to see progress.
Starting today, we are going to kick progress into the next gear. We are going to start thinking about what we need to accomplish tomorrow.
As you start each new day you will already have a list of things that you need to do today because you made it yesterday. You already have a jump start on your projects and your competition because you were already thinking about what you will do today. Furthermore, your mind had a chance to sort out some of the details on how you will accomplish your goals because you had time to think about them the day before.
As you make your list for tomorrow, you will be able to reflect on how your decisions and actions today will contribute to your activities and goals for tomorrow. If you are planning to complete some paperwork, presentation, or interaction tomorrow then you may be able to do some of the preliminary research, analysis or preparation today. Planning for tomorrow will change the way that you think about your priorities and how you invest the quiet moments of today.
Another important advantage of planning based on your list of things to do tomorrow is that many activities require collaboration with other individuals. By planning in advance, you can communicate and coordinate with other resources so those people can also plan and prepare accordingly.
Urgent or Important?
What is the difference between urgent and important? The urgent things are those milestones that must be complete by a scheduled deadline. The deadline may be today, tomorrow or several days in the future. Important things are milestones that have significant meaning. Important milestones may have an impact on business decisions, results or future activities. You know which items are urgent to complete and which ones are important to you, but do you allocate your time accordingly?
Review your list of 'Things to do Tomorrow' and annotate the items that are urgent or important. If something has an urgent deadline then write down the date and time that it must be completed next to the item on the list. If something is important then give it a rating. Some people use a rating scale of 1, 2 or 3. Some people prefer to use an asterisk or a star to identify an important task, adding more stars as the significance increases. The list and the rating belong to you, so mark it in the manner that has meaning to you.
Keep It in View
One common mistake of making a priority list is putting it out of the way once it is done. Some people will take the time to make a list and then close up the notebook or fold up the piece of paper and put it out of the way. Out of sight is out of mind.
Once you have started this process, you should have two lists at your fingertips every day. One is your list of things to do today, and the other is your list of things to do tomorrow. The most effective way to manage your lists is to keep them in a notebook or daily calendar and place it prominently on your desktop. The list contains the items that are urgent and important to you, so it should be in plain sight as a constant reminder and for easy reference.
Celebrate Accomplishment
How do you celebrate accomplishment? Check off each one of the milestone tasks as you get them done. Do you feel the sense of satisfaction? How can you reward yourself for keeping commitments that you have made on your list? Some people celebrate by taking a short walk from the desk to get some fresh air. Some people celebrate with a cup of coffee or a snack from the vending machine. Some important accomplishments deserve to be rewarded by a nice lunch or fancy dinner. Treat yourself with something special when you complete a commitment that you have made to yourself. Go on, don't be shy, you are worth it.
Another Way of Looking at It
Another way of looking at it is a style that combines the list of things to do today with the list of things to do tomorrow into one list for easy reference.
TODAY
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
TOMORROW
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
Give this a try for a week or two. When someone introduces the "issue de jour" because the sky is falling, and you are asked to jump though flaming hoops in three directions at once, then pause to reflect on your structured schedule of urgent and important milestones for today and tomorrow. How does the new issue of the day compare to the previously scheduled commitments? There is no need to panic. Simply prioritize your list of urgent and important activities, discuss your availability and schedule with those other individuals who may contribute or be affected by it.
____________________________
Words of Wisdom
"A schedule defends from chaos and whim."
- Annie Dillard
"One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before."
- Kin Hubbard
"'Good Faith' implies mutual trust and commitment. Without mutual commitment, 'Good Faith' is really nothing more than 'Blind Faith'. Wander around blindly long enough and eventually you will step in something."
- John Mehrmann
"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."
- Henry Kissinger
About The Author
John Mehrmann is a freelance writer and President of Executive Blueprints Inc., an organization devoted to improving business practices and developing human capital.
http://www.ExecutiveBlueprints.com
Five Minutes in the Morning
Do it first thing in the morning, maybe as you are enjoying a cup of coffee or sitting at your desk and mentally preparing for your day. Get a notebook and pen ready. Do not get distracted by email or phone. Prepare to donate five minutes or less of your time to yourself. Go ahead, you are worth it.
Some people prefer to do this exercise at the end of each day and that is not a problem. I suggest doing this at the very beginning of each day because it sets the tone for the rest of your day. It is more effective to feel rushed by the desire to get started on your activities than to feel rushed by the distractions of what is really on your mind at the end of the day.
Your List of Things to Do Tomorrow
Many people find it effective to make a daily list of things to do today. It can be helpful in keeping track of important activities, meetings or chores that need to be completed. It also creates a feeling of accomplishment as items get checked off the list one by one. It is always nice to see progress.
Starting today, we are going to kick progress into the next gear. We are going to start thinking about what we need to accomplish tomorrow.
As you start each new day you will already have a list of things that you need to do today because you made it yesterday. You already have a jump start on your projects and your competition because you were already thinking about what you will do today. Furthermore, your mind had a chance to sort out some of the details on how you will accomplish your goals because you had time to think about them the day before.
As you make your list for tomorrow, you will be able to reflect on how your decisions and actions today will contribute to your activities and goals for tomorrow. If you are planning to complete some paperwork, presentation, or interaction tomorrow then you may be able to do some of the preliminary research, analysis or preparation today. Planning for tomorrow will change the way that you think about your priorities and how you invest the quiet moments of today.
Another important advantage of planning based on your list of things to do tomorrow is that many activities require collaboration with other individuals. By planning in advance, you can communicate and coordinate with other resources so those people can also plan and prepare accordingly.
Urgent or Important?
What is the difference between urgent and important? The urgent things are those milestones that must be complete by a scheduled deadline. The deadline may be today, tomorrow or several days in the future. Important things are milestones that have significant meaning. Important milestones may have an impact on business decisions, results or future activities. You know which items are urgent to complete and which ones are important to you, but do you allocate your time accordingly?
Review your list of 'Things to do Tomorrow' and annotate the items that are urgent or important. If something has an urgent deadline then write down the date and time that it must be completed next to the item on the list. If something is important then give it a rating. Some people use a rating scale of 1, 2 or 3. Some people prefer to use an asterisk or a star to identify an important task, adding more stars as the significance increases. The list and the rating belong to you, so mark it in the manner that has meaning to you.
Keep It in View
One common mistake of making a priority list is putting it out of the way once it is done. Some people will take the time to make a list and then close up the notebook or fold up the piece of paper and put it out of the way. Out of sight is out of mind.
Once you have started this process, you should have two lists at your fingertips every day. One is your list of things to do today, and the other is your list of things to do tomorrow. The most effective way to manage your lists is to keep them in a notebook or daily calendar and place it prominently on your desktop. The list contains the items that are urgent and important to you, so it should be in plain sight as a constant reminder and for easy reference.
Celebrate Accomplishment
How do you celebrate accomplishment? Check off each one of the milestone tasks as you get them done. Do you feel the sense of satisfaction? How can you reward yourself for keeping commitments that you have made on your list? Some people celebrate by taking a short walk from the desk to get some fresh air. Some people celebrate with a cup of coffee or a snack from the vending machine. Some important accomplishments deserve to be rewarded by a nice lunch or fancy dinner. Treat yourself with something special when you complete a commitment that you have made to yourself. Go on, don't be shy, you are worth it.
Another Way of Looking at It
Another way of looking at it is a style that combines the list of things to do today with the list of things to do tomorrow into one list for easy reference.
TODAY
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
TOMORROW
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
To Do _________________ Urgent? ______ Important? ______
Give this a try for a week or two. When someone introduces the "issue de jour" because the sky is falling, and you are asked to jump though flaming hoops in three directions at once, then pause to reflect on your structured schedule of urgent and important milestones for today and tomorrow. How does the new issue of the day compare to the previously scheduled commitments? There is no need to panic. Simply prioritize your list of urgent and important activities, discuss your availability and schedule with those other individuals who may contribute or be affected by it.
____________________________
Words of Wisdom
"A schedule defends from chaos and whim."
- Annie Dillard
"One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before."
- Kin Hubbard
"'Good Faith' implies mutual trust and commitment. Without mutual commitment, 'Good Faith' is really nothing more than 'Blind Faith'. Wander around blindly long enough and eventually you will step in something."
- John Mehrmann
"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."
- Henry Kissinger
About The Author
John Mehrmann is a freelance writer and President of Executive Blueprints Inc., an organization devoted to improving business practices and developing human capital.
http://www.ExecutiveBlueprints.com
How To Find Permanent Happiness by: Kathiroly Govindaraju
There are so many among us who are unhappy in life. Just why are we unhappy? Often, the answer given would be because we lack of something and if we could just have that one thing in life, we would be happy. It is true, whatever we are seeking to have can give us happiness, yet it is only temporary.
Yes, it is all temporal. What if suddenly the thing is taken away from us? Can we still be happy since we are depending on that particular thing for happiness? Quite frankly, nothing down here can give us permanent happiness because we would not know when we will loose them.
In oder to have a lasting happiness, we need to find something that would not leave us no matter what happens and the only thing I know of which can do just that, is God's love. Yes, it is the only substance that is always with us, no matter what happens around us. When we know how to recognize this ever flowing life giving substance within us, we can find permanent happiness.
There is one thing we should know and that is 'soul exist because God loves it' and the very fact we are alive now despite the unhappiness, proves God's existence. Nothing can exist without God's will. As such, all things happens for a reason, and there is an absolutely good reason why one is unhappy.
Unhappiness is the result of dependency towards something that is unstable or always changes. In fact, why do we need to depend on something to give us happiness for happiness is already within us? Until one learns to cast away the habit of clinging to something for happiness one can never be truly happy. The key to happiness lies in finding the stable changeless factor within us.
If you want to find this stable factor within you which you can rely on all you have to do is recognize it and to do that, you need to have an open mind of all possibilities. Since God is all powerful and we are made in the image of God Itself, aren't we suppose to have all this God capacity or qualities in us too? God is happiness and love, and if such, are we not love and happiness too? Yes, soul is like a the ray of sun. The sun is the source of the ray, they are different in their wavelength, yet, inherently they are of same substance.
A great saint by the name of Rebatzar Tarz once said, “Everything and everybody is love”. What this means is, since God is love and God is also everything and we are part of this everything, naturally we are It or love too. We just lack experience to prove this statement to ourself. Life often appear to be full of riddle. This is because we are lacking ability to see the cause of all things. When we can see the cause, we know the reason and the cause for all things is but soul itself.
Learning and discovering our oneness with God can give us true happiness. It takes a little bit of letting go of our preconceived idea or concepts about God and a heart filled with real thirst for God itself. The only thing blinding us from seeing the God within us is our own opinions. We are so attached to our belief system that we cant see the truth.
It is alright to have opinions, but don't let the opinion rule you. Become free from it and have an open mind, because within this grand creation of God, anything is possible. Since all things are possible, why are you limiting yourself with your own limited self belief? God Is Here right Now in front of you, and you can see it, if you believe. Be flexible with your learning attitude. Be like a scientist, always check out new ways of looking at things. One day, you will see the proper way to see the truth within you.
Truth is really simple. It does not need a long explanation but the mind of men is always filled with doubts that needs elaborations and with too much information, it confuses itself. Life is really simple, because the thing that makes life possible itself is a simple thing and it is only Love. So keep yourself free from unwanted desires and worries, and you can see things clearly. In a nutshell, happiness is simple, it is in you, just get rid of dependency (you can have them but don't be dependent to them) to stuffs (material things) and look for God.
About The Author
Kathiroly Govindaraju
http://wiselifeadvice.com
After having near death experiences and seeing the miracles of God working in my life, with these experiences, I may have learned something that will help you. Hope this article benefits you.
Yes, it is all temporal. What if suddenly the thing is taken away from us? Can we still be happy since we are depending on that particular thing for happiness? Quite frankly, nothing down here can give us permanent happiness because we would not know when we will loose them.
In oder to have a lasting happiness, we need to find something that would not leave us no matter what happens and the only thing I know of which can do just that, is God's love. Yes, it is the only substance that is always with us, no matter what happens around us. When we know how to recognize this ever flowing life giving substance within us, we can find permanent happiness.
There is one thing we should know and that is 'soul exist because God loves it' and the very fact we are alive now despite the unhappiness, proves God's existence. Nothing can exist without God's will. As such, all things happens for a reason, and there is an absolutely good reason why one is unhappy.
Unhappiness is the result of dependency towards something that is unstable or always changes. In fact, why do we need to depend on something to give us happiness for happiness is already within us? Until one learns to cast away the habit of clinging to something for happiness one can never be truly happy. The key to happiness lies in finding the stable changeless factor within us.
If you want to find this stable factor within you which you can rely on all you have to do is recognize it and to do that, you need to have an open mind of all possibilities. Since God is all powerful and we are made in the image of God Itself, aren't we suppose to have all this God capacity or qualities in us too? God is happiness and love, and if such, are we not love and happiness too? Yes, soul is like a the ray of sun. The sun is the source of the ray, they are different in their wavelength, yet, inherently they are of same substance.
A great saint by the name of Rebatzar Tarz once said, “Everything and everybody is love”. What this means is, since God is love and God is also everything and we are part of this everything, naturally we are It or love too. We just lack experience to prove this statement to ourself. Life often appear to be full of riddle. This is because we are lacking ability to see the cause of all things. When we can see the cause, we know the reason and the cause for all things is but soul itself.
Learning and discovering our oneness with God can give us true happiness. It takes a little bit of letting go of our preconceived idea or concepts about God and a heart filled with real thirst for God itself. The only thing blinding us from seeing the God within us is our own opinions. We are so attached to our belief system that we cant see the truth.
It is alright to have opinions, but don't let the opinion rule you. Become free from it and have an open mind, because within this grand creation of God, anything is possible. Since all things are possible, why are you limiting yourself with your own limited self belief? God Is Here right Now in front of you, and you can see it, if you believe. Be flexible with your learning attitude. Be like a scientist, always check out new ways of looking at things. One day, you will see the proper way to see the truth within you.
Truth is really simple. It does not need a long explanation but the mind of men is always filled with doubts that needs elaborations and with too much information, it confuses itself. Life is really simple, because the thing that makes life possible itself is a simple thing and it is only Love. So keep yourself free from unwanted desires and worries, and you can see things clearly. In a nutshell, happiness is simple, it is in you, just get rid of dependency (you can have them but don't be dependent to them) to stuffs (material things) and look for God.
About The Author
Kathiroly Govindaraju
http://wiselifeadvice.com
After having near death experiences and seeing the miracles of God working in my life, with these experiences, I may have learned something that will help you. Hope this article benefits you.
Your Attitude Is Your Choice by: Michael A. Verdicchio
Few people believe that their attitude is their own choice. For most people, their attitude depends upon people and circumstances. If people are nice to them, then they have a good attitude. If circumstances are favorable, they are in a good mood.
On the other hand, if someone treats them unfairly, then they have a bad attitude. If the circumstances are not favorable, they are in a bad mood.
Most people fail to realize that their attitude and their mood are really their own choice. Let me give you a silly example.
Awhile back, someone sent the following to me in an email.
A little old lady went to the mirror one morning and noticed that she had only three hairs on her head. As she looked into the mirror, she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." That's exactly what she did. And, she had a great day.
The next morning, at the mirror once again, the little old lady noticed that she only had two hairs on her head. Looking herself right in the eye, she said, "Today, I think I'll part my hair down the middle." That's exactly what she did. And, she had a great day.
The next day, as the little old lady looked into the mirror, there was only one hair on her head. She looked at that one lonely hair and said, "Today I think I'll wear my hair in a pony tail." That's exactly what she did. And she had a great day.
The following morning the little old lady looked into the mirror and there wasn't a single hair on her head. Her eyes lit up, and she said, "Yeah! I don't have to fix my hair today!"
Your attitude is your choice.
Now, if you're a lady, please don't let this illustration shake you up too much, okay? I am quite aware that in our culture bald men are considered more attractive than bald women. In fact, I thought about that when I first read this story in the email. I wondered why they used the example of a woman in the story.
But the more I thought about it, the more I saw how much more powerful and dramatic this example is with a woman! The whole point of the illustration is all about attitude.
We can blame circumstances for our attitude. We can blame the actions of others for our attitude. We can even blame the dog. But the truth is, we decide, we choose and we determine our attitude at any given moment.
The attitude that you have right now, at this very moment, is the one you have chosen to carry around. It is determined by your thoughts.
In this silly illustration about the woman, she could have had one lousy day after another watching her each hair disappear just as easily. She could have spent her days depressed. She could have spent her time being angry.
Instead, she looked for something to be positive about, even in the middle of a lousy situation. She chose to deal with her situation in a positive way, and as a result she had a great day. Even though this is a fictional story, the point is well made.
Think about it. When was the last time you had a lousy attitude and a great day? Do you think that a connection exists between attitude, thoughts and physical realities of the day you are having? Of course it does!
I like to end my blogs with, "Choose to have a great day." There will certainly be days with circumstances that we are not able to change. There may be people we deal with that act like jerks. But, regardless of what we are faced with each day, we can choose to let it affect our attitude, or we can choose to not let it affect our attitude.
Attitude is a choice. Choose to have a great day!
About The Author
Michael A. Verdicchio is a husband, father, minister, author,and broadcaster. He has been the voice on numerous productions over the years. Michael has a free newsletter called, THE PEP LETTER, at http://www.christianinspirationalgifts.com/pepletter.html.
On the other hand, if someone treats them unfairly, then they have a bad attitude. If the circumstances are not favorable, they are in a bad mood.
Most people fail to realize that their attitude and their mood are really their own choice. Let me give you a silly example.
Awhile back, someone sent the following to me in an email.
A little old lady went to the mirror one morning and noticed that she had only three hairs on her head. As she looked into the mirror, she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." That's exactly what she did. And, she had a great day.
The next morning, at the mirror once again, the little old lady noticed that she only had two hairs on her head. Looking herself right in the eye, she said, "Today, I think I'll part my hair down the middle." That's exactly what she did. And, she had a great day.
The next day, as the little old lady looked into the mirror, there was only one hair on her head. She looked at that one lonely hair and said, "Today I think I'll wear my hair in a pony tail." That's exactly what she did. And she had a great day.
The following morning the little old lady looked into the mirror and there wasn't a single hair on her head. Her eyes lit up, and she said, "Yeah! I don't have to fix my hair today!"
Your attitude is your choice.
Now, if you're a lady, please don't let this illustration shake you up too much, okay? I am quite aware that in our culture bald men are considered more attractive than bald women. In fact, I thought about that when I first read this story in the email. I wondered why they used the example of a woman in the story.
But the more I thought about it, the more I saw how much more powerful and dramatic this example is with a woman! The whole point of the illustration is all about attitude.
We can blame circumstances for our attitude. We can blame the actions of others for our attitude. We can even blame the dog. But the truth is, we decide, we choose and we determine our attitude at any given moment.
The attitude that you have right now, at this very moment, is the one you have chosen to carry around. It is determined by your thoughts.
In this silly illustration about the woman, she could have had one lousy day after another watching her each hair disappear just as easily. She could have spent her days depressed. She could have spent her time being angry.
Instead, she looked for something to be positive about, even in the middle of a lousy situation. She chose to deal with her situation in a positive way, and as a result she had a great day. Even though this is a fictional story, the point is well made.
Think about it. When was the last time you had a lousy attitude and a great day? Do you think that a connection exists between attitude, thoughts and physical realities of the day you are having? Of course it does!
I like to end my blogs with, "Choose to have a great day." There will certainly be days with circumstances that we are not able to change. There may be people we deal with that act like jerks. But, regardless of what we are faced with each day, we can choose to let it affect our attitude, or we can choose to not let it affect our attitude.
Attitude is a choice. Choose to have a great day!
About The Author
Michael A. Verdicchio is a husband, father, minister, author,and broadcaster. He has been the voice on numerous productions over the years. Michael has a free newsletter called, THE PEP LETTER, at http://www.christianinspirationalgifts.com/pepletter.html.
What Makes a Great Speaker? by: Sandra Schrift
When people hear that I owned a national, professional speakers bureau for 13 years, they often ask me, who are the best speakers and why? What follows are some of the characteristics of a very successful speaker who is often a highly paid speaker.
'Tell' em what you're going to tell them, tell them, and then tell' em what you told them."
1. They arrive early and check out the sound system and introduce themselves to audience members during the networking time.
2. They speak on a subject that their audience needs to hear. And they use words and body language that shows their passion and authenticity.
3. They connect with their audience in the first few minutes with a riveting story, a funny incident, a startling statement or perhaps a poem. They know how to make their opening remarks relate to the material that follows.
4. They have no fear. They don't only say what the audience wants to hear, but what they NEED to hear. In other words, their remarks may raise some eyebrows. They give their audiences some fresh ideas.
5. They never make more than 3-4 points in their speech. They don't feel the need to tell an audience everything they know. No one can retain it all. For each major point they tell an illustrative story. A good story evokes emotion and offers a lesson. The audience members are then only a step away from their own story.
6. They make great eye contact and make each person feel attended to. This makes them appear to be more heartfelt and really present for their audience.
7. Before closing, they summarize and reiterate their major points. They end with an inspiring story and a call to action. They hold the audience accountable - to take some action in the next few days, weeks.
8. They don't talk too long. They know how much time they have been assigned and they don't exceed it.
9. They rehearse their speech a few times but never sound canned. They NEVER read their speech verbatim.
10. All successful speakers market themselves. They all promote themselves. And they all network. They are a model of excellence. And you can be too!
About The Author
Sandra Schrift 13 year speaker bureau owner and now career coach to emerging and veteran public speakers who want to "grow" a profitable speaking business. I also work with business professionals and organizations who want to master their presentations.
Join my free bi-weekly Monday Morning Mindfulness ezine http://schrift.com/monday.html
New! Do you want to learn how to give a compelling speech? Would you like to know what sets leaders apart? Are you ready to prepare a speech that hits your audience's hot buttons? Now you can. Buy the audio CD (available as an MP3 download). "POWER PRESENTATIONS FOR PROFESSIONALS" at http://schrift.com/Power_Presentations_for_Professionals
'Tell' em what you're going to tell them, tell them, and then tell' em what you told them."
1. They arrive early and check out the sound system and introduce themselves to audience members during the networking time.
2. They speak on a subject that their audience needs to hear. And they use words and body language that shows their passion and authenticity.
3. They connect with their audience in the first few minutes with a riveting story, a funny incident, a startling statement or perhaps a poem. They know how to make their opening remarks relate to the material that follows.
4. They have no fear. They don't only say what the audience wants to hear, but what they NEED to hear. In other words, their remarks may raise some eyebrows. They give their audiences some fresh ideas.
5. They never make more than 3-4 points in their speech. They don't feel the need to tell an audience everything they know. No one can retain it all. For each major point they tell an illustrative story. A good story evokes emotion and offers a lesson. The audience members are then only a step away from their own story.
6. They make great eye contact and make each person feel attended to. This makes them appear to be more heartfelt and really present for their audience.
7. Before closing, they summarize and reiterate their major points. They end with an inspiring story and a call to action. They hold the audience accountable - to take some action in the next few days, weeks.
8. They don't talk too long. They know how much time they have been assigned and they don't exceed it.
9. They rehearse their speech a few times but never sound canned. They NEVER read their speech verbatim.
10. All successful speakers market themselves. They all promote themselves. And they all network. They are a model of excellence. And you can be too!
About The Author
Sandra Schrift 13 year speaker bureau owner and now career coach to emerging and veteran public speakers who want to "grow" a profitable speaking business. I also work with business professionals and organizations who want to master their presentations.
Join my free bi-weekly Monday Morning Mindfulness ezine http://schrift.com/monday.html
New! Do you want to learn how to give a compelling speech? Would you like to know what sets leaders apart? Are you ready to prepare a speech that hits your audience's hot buttons? Now you can. Buy the audio CD (available as an MP3 download). "POWER PRESENTATIONS FOR PROFESSIONALS" at http://schrift.com/Power_Presentations_for_Professionals
21 Biggest Mistakes Friends Make by: Helene Rothschild
Are you being a good friend? Do you have friends that you appreciate? Would you like to improve your friendships? Is your loving partner your best friend?
As a Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I helped many people resolve issues with their friends and create healthier friendships. The same principles apply to romantic relationships. Ideally, your loving partner is your best friend.
The following are some mistakes friends make and how to improve the relationship.
1) Mistake: Try to fix the person. Solution: Ask the person if they want your help and the kind of assistance they wish to have. Some examples are to just listen, or tell them what you would do in their situation.
2) Mistake: Be impatient. Solution: Be patient. We all appreciate when others are patient with us.
3) Mistake: Be unforgiving. Solution: Forgive others when they blunder. We all make mistakes.
4) Mistake: Discount or judge the other person's feelings. Solution: Accept all their feelings and help them express them constructively.
5) Mistake: Take personally what your friend says. Solution: Understand that what people say or do is a reflection of them and not you.
6) Mistake: Be indifferent when they are upset. Solution: Comfort the other person when they are hurting by being compassionate and reassuring, listening, giving them a hug, etc.
7) Mistake: Tell people what to do. Solution: Help them solve their own problems with win-win solutions.
8) Mistake: Be jealous of their success. Solution: Be happy for them when they experience success and reach their goals.
9) Mistake: Drop them when you are romantically involved. Solution: Continue to connect with your friends even when you are in romantic relationships.
10) Mistake: Withhold your thoughts and feelings. Solution: Tell them your thoughts and feelings in a loving way. Take responsibility for them by beginning your sentences with "I feel" or "I think."
11) Mistake: Break your agreements Solution: Keep your agreements, or inform them before that you wish to change the agreement.
12) Mistake: Do not feel worthy or deserving of the friendships. Solution: Realize that you deserve loving, supportive friends.
13) Mistake: Take them for granted. Solution: Let them know that they are important to you and you are grateful for their friendship.
14) Mistake: Expect them to help you overcome your loneliness. Solution: When you love and like yourself, you are not dependent on others to fulfill your needs.
15) Mistake: Bombard them with your problems. Solution: Ask them first if they are open to hearing a problem you are having and keep it short and to the point. Then focus on the solution.
16) Mistake: Be their leader or follower. Solution: See each other as two equally powerful people.
17) Mistake: Be too busy for friends. Solution: Set aside quality time for your nurturing, supportive friends.
18) Mistake: Try to make them just like you. Solution: Honor who they are and be aware of how you complement each other.
19) Mistake: Be disrespectful and hurtful. Solution: Respect them and be kind.
20) Mistake: Be willing to take abuse. Solution: Love yourself enough to remove yourself from abusive relationships.
21) Mistake: Expect them to be your therapist. Solution: If you need professional help, seek a therapist.
About The Author
Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!”. She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free newsletter. http://www.lovetopeace.com, 1-888-639-6390.
As a Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I helped many people resolve issues with their friends and create healthier friendships. The same principles apply to romantic relationships. Ideally, your loving partner is your best friend.
The following are some mistakes friends make and how to improve the relationship.
1) Mistake: Try to fix the person. Solution: Ask the person if they want your help and the kind of assistance they wish to have. Some examples are to just listen, or tell them what you would do in their situation.
2) Mistake: Be impatient. Solution: Be patient. We all appreciate when others are patient with us.
3) Mistake: Be unforgiving. Solution: Forgive others when they blunder. We all make mistakes.
4) Mistake: Discount or judge the other person's feelings. Solution: Accept all their feelings and help them express them constructively.
5) Mistake: Take personally what your friend says. Solution: Understand that what people say or do is a reflection of them and not you.
6) Mistake: Be indifferent when they are upset. Solution: Comfort the other person when they are hurting by being compassionate and reassuring, listening, giving them a hug, etc.
7) Mistake: Tell people what to do. Solution: Help them solve their own problems with win-win solutions.
8) Mistake: Be jealous of their success. Solution: Be happy for them when they experience success and reach their goals.
9) Mistake: Drop them when you are romantically involved. Solution: Continue to connect with your friends even when you are in romantic relationships.
10) Mistake: Withhold your thoughts and feelings. Solution: Tell them your thoughts and feelings in a loving way. Take responsibility for them by beginning your sentences with "I feel" or "I think."
11) Mistake: Break your agreements Solution: Keep your agreements, or inform them before that you wish to change the agreement.
12) Mistake: Do not feel worthy or deserving of the friendships. Solution: Realize that you deserve loving, supportive friends.
13) Mistake: Take them for granted. Solution: Let them know that they are important to you and you are grateful for their friendship.
14) Mistake: Expect them to help you overcome your loneliness. Solution: When you love and like yourself, you are not dependent on others to fulfill your needs.
15) Mistake: Bombard them with your problems. Solution: Ask them first if they are open to hearing a problem you are having and keep it short and to the point. Then focus on the solution.
16) Mistake: Be their leader or follower. Solution: See each other as two equally powerful people.
17) Mistake: Be too busy for friends. Solution: Set aside quality time for your nurturing, supportive friends.
18) Mistake: Try to make them just like you. Solution: Honor who they are and be aware of how you complement each other.
19) Mistake: Be disrespectful and hurtful. Solution: Respect them and be kind.
20) Mistake: Be willing to take abuse. Solution: Love yourself enough to remove yourself from abusive relationships.
21) Mistake: Expect them to be your therapist. Solution: If you need professional help, seek a therapist.
About The Author
Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!”. She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free newsletter. http://www.lovetopeace.com, 1-888-639-6390.
How To Put A Stop To Excessive Blushing by: Gary Ambrosh
There is no easy way to stop problem blushing. There is no magic pill that will put an end to problem blushing. You can’t end problem blushing by writing “I will not blush” a hundred times on a piece of paper.
The problem of excessive blushing is a complicated one, but you can beat it by focusing on specific aspects of your life that contribute to problems with excessive blushing. Have you ever noticed that the more you think about not blushing, the more you are likely to blush? This fact actually is the key to putting a stop to problem blushing once and for all.
The single most important thing you can do to put an end to problem blushing is to stop resisting blushing. The more you fight blushing, the more you are going to blush. The more you tell yourself that you aren’t going to get embarrassed, the more likely you are going to be to experience embarrassment. And what does embarrassment cause for problem blushers? More blushing, of course.
When you engage in mental arguments with yourself to fight off a behaviour or a reaction, the end result is generally an intensification of the very behaviour or reaction you were trying to avoid in the first place. It is very frustrating to lose an argument with yourself, but that is in fact is what happens.
When you are telling yourself not to blush when faced with an embarrassing situation, and you feel a blush start to creep up your neck and face, you become angry and frustrated. As you wonder why you can’t control your reactions and emotions, the blush just gets worse. It is like your body is reminding you that your mind is not in control of your physiological response.
No matter what measures you take to reduce your problems with excessive blushing, you will never be successful until you stop resisting blushing. This, of course, is easier said than done.
After a lifetime of trying unsuccessfully to ward off blush after blush after blush, it is hard to retrain yourself to just relax and let yourself blush. It will be very difficult at first, but with persistence, you will experience the rewards of less trouble with blushing.
This isn’t just my idea about why resisting emotions and reactions often makes them worse. Internationally renowned psychiatrist Carl Jung, who is credited with founding analytical psychology stated many years ago, “what you resits persists”. I applied Jung’s theory to my own life and saw it make a profound difference in my troubles with problem blushing.
The more you resist an emotional or physiological response, the more prevalent it will become. The day that you decide to quit fighting blushes is the day that you will begin to win the battle against excessive blushing.
About The Author
Gary Ambrosh is creator of Blushing Free, an audio book that teaches how to beat a blushing problem. Learn more at http://www.blushingfree.com If you suffer at any level from a blushing problem, visit Gary's site to learn how to beat it: http://www.blushingfree.com
The problem of excessive blushing is a complicated one, but you can beat it by focusing on specific aspects of your life that contribute to problems with excessive blushing. Have you ever noticed that the more you think about not blushing, the more you are likely to blush? This fact actually is the key to putting a stop to problem blushing once and for all.
The single most important thing you can do to put an end to problem blushing is to stop resisting blushing. The more you fight blushing, the more you are going to blush. The more you tell yourself that you aren’t going to get embarrassed, the more likely you are going to be to experience embarrassment. And what does embarrassment cause for problem blushers? More blushing, of course.
When you engage in mental arguments with yourself to fight off a behaviour or a reaction, the end result is generally an intensification of the very behaviour or reaction you were trying to avoid in the first place. It is very frustrating to lose an argument with yourself, but that is in fact is what happens.
When you are telling yourself not to blush when faced with an embarrassing situation, and you feel a blush start to creep up your neck and face, you become angry and frustrated. As you wonder why you can’t control your reactions and emotions, the blush just gets worse. It is like your body is reminding you that your mind is not in control of your physiological response.
No matter what measures you take to reduce your problems with excessive blushing, you will never be successful until you stop resisting blushing. This, of course, is easier said than done.
After a lifetime of trying unsuccessfully to ward off blush after blush after blush, it is hard to retrain yourself to just relax and let yourself blush. It will be very difficult at first, but with persistence, you will experience the rewards of less trouble with blushing.
This isn’t just my idea about why resisting emotions and reactions often makes them worse. Internationally renowned psychiatrist Carl Jung, who is credited with founding analytical psychology stated many years ago, “what you resits persists”. I applied Jung’s theory to my own life and saw it make a profound difference in my troubles with problem blushing.
The more you resist an emotional or physiological response, the more prevalent it will become. The day that you decide to quit fighting blushes is the day that you will begin to win the battle against excessive blushing.
About The Author
Gary Ambrosh is creator of Blushing Free, an audio book that teaches how to beat a blushing problem. Learn more at http://www.blushingfree.com If you suffer at any level from a blushing problem, visit Gary's site to learn how to beat it: http://www.blushingfree.com
The Magic of Love by: Helene Rothschild
Would you like to receive the magic of love? Are you willing to give it? Try this: For one day, consciously make an effort to be loving or kind to everyone you see, with no expectations of receiving anything in return.
For example, compliment, acknowledge, or smile at people at work, home, on the street, and in the stores. Notice how you feel at the end of the day. Your heart will probably feel warmer and bigger. The loving action can make their day as well as yours. It is likely that the people you touch with the magic of love will pass it on to others. You will never know for sure how many people's lives you have touched with these simple, free, kind acts. Just trust that you are making a difference.
It worked for my client Jerry, a thirty-six-year-old computer engineer. He was surprised when I suggested that he try the experiment. The lonely, single man was complaining to me that people are so mean and nasty. Obviously, Jerry had low self-esteem and poor relationship skills.
I said, "Jerry, are you willing to go to work tomorrow with a smile, and acknowledge and compliment people? I do not mean to make up remarks. Just look for something true and positive to say to your boss and co-workers. Notice how you feel and how they respond."
The following week, Jerry walked into my office with a smile on his face. That was the first time I saw that happy expression since his first counseling session. As soon as he sat down, Jerry exclaimed, "It worked, Helene! It was amazing! I did what you suggested and everyone responded back in a positive way. The whole office felt different, and now I look forward to going to work. That is a miracle!"
I congratulated Jerry for offering the magic of love, and acknowledged his courage and progress. This seemed to be a turning point in his life. I continued to help him feel good about himself with the HART process (Holistic And Rapid Transformation), and improve his communication skills. Before long, he started to date and enjoy social activities.
I have also had great success with the magic of love. When I lived in the country, I used to take regular walks on the dirt road. I smiled and thought the words "Bless you" as I waved at every car that drove by. Almost everyone responded by sending me back a warm smile and wave. It felt so good to spread caring. What a wonderful world this would be if everyone realized the importance of and took the time to spread the magic of love.
About The Author
© 2007 Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, is a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. The article is excerpts from her new book, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!" A unique guide to Holistic And Rapid Transformation. She offers phone sessions, books, e-books, MP3 audios, and a free newsletter. http://www.lovetopeace.com, 1-888-639-6390.
For example, compliment, acknowledge, or smile at people at work, home, on the street, and in the stores. Notice how you feel at the end of the day. Your heart will probably feel warmer and bigger. The loving action can make their day as well as yours. It is likely that the people you touch with the magic of love will pass it on to others. You will never know for sure how many people's lives you have touched with these simple, free, kind acts. Just trust that you are making a difference.
It worked for my client Jerry, a thirty-six-year-old computer engineer. He was surprised when I suggested that he try the experiment. The lonely, single man was complaining to me that people are so mean and nasty. Obviously, Jerry had low self-esteem and poor relationship skills.
I said, "Jerry, are you willing to go to work tomorrow with a smile, and acknowledge and compliment people? I do not mean to make up remarks. Just look for something true and positive to say to your boss and co-workers. Notice how you feel and how they respond."
The following week, Jerry walked into my office with a smile on his face. That was the first time I saw that happy expression since his first counseling session. As soon as he sat down, Jerry exclaimed, "It worked, Helene! It was amazing! I did what you suggested and everyone responded back in a positive way. The whole office felt different, and now I look forward to going to work. That is a miracle!"
I congratulated Jerry for offering the magic of love, and acknowledged his courage and progress. This seemed to be a turning point in his life. I continued to help him feel good about himself with the HART process (Holistic And Rapid Transformation), and improve his communication skills. Before long, he started to date and enjoy social activities.
I have also had great success with the magic of love. When I lived in the country, I used to take regular walks on the dirt road. I smiled and thought the words "Bless you" as I waved at every car that drove by. Almost everyone responded by sending me back a warm smile and wave. It felt so good to spread caring. What a wonderful world this would be if everyone realized the importance of and took the time to spread the magic of love.
About The Author
© 2007 Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, is a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. The article is excerpts from her new book, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!" A unique guide to Holistic And Rapid Transformation. She offers phone sessions, books, e-books, MP3 audios, and a free newsletter. http://www.lovetopeace.com, 1-888-639-6390.
Don't Waste Your Time - Use it Wisely by: Andrew Grant
Do you waste time? Are you lazy and indolent or are you continuously on the go, using every minute to the maximum?
If you are in the first category, there are a lot of very obvious things you can do to improve, but in this article I want to concentrate on those of us who are already using our time constructively and examine how you can squeeze even more from your day.
You may think that your life is so full that this is impossible, but I recently ran an inventory of how I used my time and realised that there was still some room for improvement. Here's what I discovered.
Timespace #1 – For years I avoided doing any kind of exercise. It was pretty easy for me, I had been skinny all my life and even though I wasn't too fit, I was still the right weight. As I got older, though I realised that I had to take my body a bit more seriously.
Since then I have become a moderate, regular exerciser; I now go running for half an hour every second day and visit the gym three times a week. No problem there; I get satisfaction from using my time well and I appreciate the results.
However, I calculated that I am spending about five hours per week doing great things for my body, but nothing for my mind. So now when I'm pounding the streets or straining at the weights, I use the opportunity to listen to self development programs on my I-Pod, to concentrate on goal visualization, to practice affirmations or just focus on being grateful for all the good things in my life. And there's a bonus too; because the blood is racing through my veins, my brain is more alert and better prepared to learn and grow.
Timespace #2 – I drive a lot. My business requires a good deal of travel and most of it is done in the car. I used to listen to music on the radio or go into an almost trance-like ‘auto pilot' mode, usually to escape the tedium of long distance driving.
Now, though, I put a self development CD in the player, or a language course, or again, I use the time to practice visualizations and affirmations. The privacy of your little tin box allows you to shout, sing, laugh or mumble. Who cares? You are on your own. It's your space.
Timespace #3 – Finally, this one is not so much about finding extra time as making better use of the time I thought I was using wisely. My personal time audit showed me that I was wasting a whole hour, sometimes more, at the beginning of the day catching up on the overnight e-mail load and then planning what I was going to do for the rest of the day.
I prided myself on being an efficient time warrior, but I now realise, that I was missing one of the biggest mistakes of all.
So how did I fix that? Simple. I changed two things. Firstly, I now do my planning, the night before, by taking ten minutes, near to the end of the evening and writing down everything I want to achieve the next day. The bonus here is that overnight, my mind works on the issues even while I sleep, so by the time I get started next day, I am far better prepared.
Secondly, I leave my e-mail inbox until lunchtime. I spend the morning getting through the goals I assigned the night before and then just before I take a break for lunch, I race through my inbox. That way, I find I already feel good about what I've done so far in the day, my mind is much more focused and I don't get distracted.
So no matter how efficient you think you are, take a look again at your day and I'll bet you can find some extra layers of time, you never knew you had. Good hunting.
About The Author
Hi my name is Andrew Grant, I'd like to invite you to visit my website and subscribe to my newsletter for more information and inspiration on Goal Setting, Positive Thinking and Internet Marketing.
http://www.money-and-mind.com
If you are in the first category, there are a lot of very obvious things you can do to improve, but in this article I want to concentrate on those of us who are already using our time constructively and examine how you can squeeze even more from your day.
You may think that your life is so full that this is impossible, but I recently ran an inventory of how I used my time and realised that there was still some room for improvement. Here's what I discovered.
Timespace #1 – For years I avoided doing any kind of exercise. It was pretty easy for me, I had been skinny all my life and even though I wasn't too fit, I was still the right weight. As I got older, though I realised that I had to take my body a bit more seriously.
Since then I have become a moderate, regular exerciser; I now go running for half an hour every second day and visit the gym three times a week. No problem there; I get satisfaction from using my time well and I appreciate the results.
However, I calculated that I am spending about five hours per week doing great things for my body, but nothing for my mind. So now when I'm pounding the streets or straining at the weights, I use the opportunity to listen to self development programs on my I-Pod, to concentrate on goal visualization, to practice affirmations or just focus on being grateful for all the good things in my life. And there's a bonus too; because the blood is racing through my veins, my brain is more alert and better prepared to learn and grow.
Timespace #2 – I drive a lot. My business requires a good deal of travel and most of it is done in the car. I used to listen to music on the radio or go into an almost trance-like ‘auto pilot' mode, usually to escape the tedium of long distance driving.
Now, though, I put a self development CD in the player, or a language course, or again, I use the time to practice visualizations and affirmations. The privacy of your little tin box allows you to shout, sing, laugh or mumble. Who cares? You are on your own. It's your space.
Timespace #3 – Finally, this one is not so much about finding extra time as making better use of the time I thought I was using wisely. My personal time audit showed me that I was wasting a whole hour, sometimes more, at the beginning of the day catching up on the overnight e-mail load and then planning what I was going to do for the rest of the day.
I prided myself on being an efficient time warrior, but I now realise, that I was missing one of the biggest mistakes of all.
So how did I fix that? Simple. I changed two things. Firstly, I now do my planning, the night before, by taking ten minutes, near to the end of the evening and writing down everything I want to achieve the next day. The bonus here is that overnight, my mind works on the issues even while I sleep, so by the time I get started next day, I am far better prepared.
Secondly, I leave my e-mail inbox until lunchtime. I spend the morning getting through the goals I assigned the night before and then just before I take a break for lunch, I race through my inbox. That way, I find I already feel good about what I've done so far in the day, my mind is much more focused and I don't get distracted.
So no matter how efficient you think you are, take a look again at your day and I'll bet you can find some extra layers of time, you never knew you had. Good hunting.
About The Author
Hi my name is Andrew Grant, I'd like to invite you to visit my website and subscribe to my newsletter for more information and inspiration on Goal Setting, Positive Thinking and Internet Marketing.
http://www.money-and-mind.com
Beyond Success by: Kade Gillingham
Striving for success can be a long and winding road with many speed humps and pot holes along the way. Success means different things to different people, whether it be relationships, finances, careers, family or health.
Realistically we all want to be successful in all areas of our lives and we are only limited by the questions that we ask ourselves.
While you may be very successful in one area of your life, let’s say your career, your health may be a little down as a result from the extra effort you have put in to your work to achieve that level of success.
Another example would be if you are spending a lot of time on your investing and finances you may be putting pressure on a relationship.
In order to bring some balance into your life you need to prioritize your values and spend your time on different areas of your life accordingly.
Looking at the example above, if your health is being affected by the hours you are doing at work you really need to sit down and prioritize your values. If you keep putting pressure on your body and your health, eventually it will catch up with you and won't be able to do your job.
Working out what is most important to you is the first step towards achieving the level of success that you desire. Being grateful for what you already have will enable you to grow.
Paul Blackburn is founder of Beyond Success and has been a coach for over 25 years. His top ten clients have a combined net worth of over 100 million dollars. He has coached CEO's, high profile athletes and business owners from all over the globe.
Paul has recently launched a new product called "Blockage Busters" which teaches you how to smash through the mental blockages that stop you from achieving what you set out to achieve. In his course he talks about goal setting and how most people rarely achieve there desired goals due to their subconscious thoughts.
You see, your subconscious mind has the last word on most of your actions. You might say “I want to make a million dollars in the next year” but your subconscious mind has a program that says “making money is hard work and you can’t make that amount of money so quickly. Best you don’t try and risk losing everything”.
If your subconscious isn’t programmed to accept that making a million dollars is possible, then simply asking for it won’t make it come true. You could spend years trying to achieve your financial goal but all you end up with is frustration.
If your conscious and subconscious minds aren’t in agreement then taking action to achieve your goal will stir up negative emotions. You will feel fear, anxiety, frustration and a sense of being overwhelmed and bogged down. Sound familiar?
If so, that’s your subconscious mind saying, “I told you so and I’ll prove you can’t make a million dollars”
To find out more about Paul's "Blockage Busters" system go to, www.blockagebusters.com/amember/go.php?r=391&i=l0
Yours in success,
Kade
About The Author
Kade Gillingham has been involved in the personal development industry for quite some time. He is an experienced investor and works part time as a life coach. Having used his knowledge he has learnt from his mentors, he has created a lifestyle that gives him time and freedom to help others in this area.
Realistically we all want to be successful in all areas of our lives and we are only limited by the questions that we ask ourselves.
While you may be very successful in one area of your life, let’s say your career, your health may be a little down as a result from the extra effort you have put in to your work to achieve that level of success.
Another example would be if you are spending a lot of time on your investing and finances you may be putting pressure on a relationship.
In order to bring some balance into your life you need to prioritize your values and spend your time on different areas of your life accordingly.
Looking at the example above, if your health is being affected by the hours you are doing at work you really need to sit down and prioritize your values. If you keep putting pressure on your body and your health, eventually it will catch up with you and won't be able to do your job.
Working out what is most important to you is the first step towards achieving the level of success that you desire. Being grateful for what you already have will enable you to grow.
Paul Blackburn is founder of Beyond Success and has been a coach for over 25 years. His top ten clients have a combined net worth of over 100 million dollars. He has coached CEO's, high profile athletes and business owners from all over the globe.
Paul has recently launched a new product called "Blockage Busters" which teaches you how to smash through the mental blockages that stop you from achieving what you set out to achieve. In his course he talks about goal setting and how most people rarely achieve there desired goals due to their subconscious thoughts.
You see, your subconscious mind has the last word on most of your actions. You might say “I want to make a million dollars in the next year” but your subconscious mind has a program that says “making money is hard work and you can’t make that amount of money so quickly. Best you don’t try and risk losing everything”.
If your subconscious isn’t programmed to accept that making a million dollars is possible, then simply asking for it won’t make it come true. You could spend years trying to achieve your financial goal but all you end up with is frustration.
If your conscious and subconscious minds aren’t in agreement then taking action to achieve your goal will stir up negative emotions. You will feel fear, anxiety, frustration and a sense of being overwhelmed and bogged down. Sound familiar?
If so, that’s your subconscious mind saying, “I told you so and I’ll prove you can’t make a million dollars”
To find out more about Paul's "Blockage Busters" system go to, www.blockagebusters.com/amember/go.php?r=391&i=l0
Yours in success,
Kade
About The Author
Kade Gillingham has been involved in the personal development industry for quite some time. He is an experienced investor and works part time as a life coach. Having used his knowledge he has learnt from his mentors, he has created a lifestyle that gives him time and freedom to help others in this area.
Worry No More! by: Helene Rothschild
Do you find yourself worrying about the past, present, or future? Do your concerns keep you up at night and even affect your health? Would you like to learn ways to prevent and "cure" this common stressful feeling?
Like most people, I also used to worry about many things. Fortunately, I learned how to use my own HART (Holistic And Rapid Transformation) processes, to help me sleep better, maintain my health, and experience more happiness and joy.
Worry is a form of fear that causes us a great deal of stress, and can cause ulcers and many other physical problems. When we are in fear, our body constricts and the organs and glands are not able to receive the much needed oxygen and nutrients. On the contrary, when we are relaxed our body can function normally and maintain health and well-being.
It is normal and human to get struck in the web of worrying. However, there are ways to free yourself and feel good again. To begin with, it is important to realize that your thoughts and images are like powerful magnets. Therefore, it is vital to let go of the negative "pictures" and/or thoughts consuming you.
Unfortunately, you can easily attract whatever you are worried about. Of course the opposite is also true. Positive images and thoughts draw to you and others a more favorable outcome.
For example, when my daughters went out to socialize with their friends, I found myself worrying about their safety. I knew that I had taught them how to take care of themselves, listen to their intuition, always have a designated driver, and call me if they needed help. However, as a normal mother, I was still worrying about them. It is amazing how our imagination can get the best of us.
Concerned that the negative image and thought could attract the very things I was anxious about, I quickly imagined that I had a laser beam and was burning away the negative scene of them being physically hurt or having a car accident. I took two deep breaths to help me let go of that fear. I said an affirmation, a positive thought, "The girls are safe." Then I imagined us all having breakfast the next morning, and my daughters were sharing what a fun time they had. I was then relaxed enough to fall asleep. Worrying was no longer keeping me awake.
You can use this HART technique for any situation. For example, if you are concerned about not getting a job, then burn that worry away and imagine that you are working in the perfect environment. When you are worried about being able to pay your bills, or the house not selling, do the same process.
Basically, you are releasing the negative images and thoughts and changing them to positive ones. This is amazingly powerful because your positive thoughts and images can help you create a happy, healthy, and successful life. However, you need to release the negative first. The analogy is that you have to clean out your drawer to make room for the new.
Why do we frequently go directly to the negative side of things? Often, we learned that pattern of behavior from our parents who learned it from their parents and so on. Worrying does not serve you or anyone else, and it can be an unconscious habit.
It is helpful to realize that you can release that way of functioning and focus on a more positive approach. I suggest that you set your intent to pay attention to what you are saying, thinking, and imagining. As soon as you are aware of your negativity, use the HART process to switch to being positive. You will probably find yourself healthier and happier. You may even be able to say, "I don't worry any more. I have trust that I have the power to attract good in my life."
About The Author
Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, Family Therapist. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART! Create Love, Joy and Abundance~NOW." For her free newsletter, MP3 audio, and ebook, go to: http://www.helenerothschild.com . Note the fantastic limited time special offer: http://www.helenerothschild.com/specialoffer.html
Like most people, I also used to worry about many things. Fortunately, I learned how to use my own HART (Holistic And Rapid Transformation) processes, to help me sleep better, maintain my health, and experience more happiness and joy.
Worry is a form of fear that causes us a great deal of stress, and can cause ulcers and many other physical problems. When we are in fear, our body constricts and the organs and glands are not able to receive the much needed oxygen and nutrients. On the contrary, when we are relaxed our body can function normally and maintain health and well-being.
It is normal and human to get struck in the web of worrying. However, there are ways to free yourself and feel good again. To begin with, it is important to realize that your thoughts and images are like powerful magnets. Therefore, it is vital to let go of the negative "pictures" and/or thoughts consuming you.
Unfortunately, you can easily attract whatever you are worried about. Of course the opposite is also true. Positive images and thoughts draw to you and others a more favorable outcome.
For example, when my daughters went out to socialize with their friends, I found myself worrying about their safety. I knew that I had taught them how to take care of themselves, listen to their intuition, always have a designated driver, and call me if they needed help. However, as a normal mother, I was still worrying about them. It is amazing how our imagination can get the best of us.
Concerned that the negative image and thought could attract the very things I was anxious about, I quickly imagined that I had a laser beam and was burning away the negative scene of them being physically hurt or having a car accident. I took two deep breaths to help me let go of that fear. I said an affirmation, a positive thought, "The girls are safe." Then I imagined us all having breakfast the next morning, and my daughters were sharing what a fun time they had. I was then relaxed enough to fall asleep. Worrying was no longer keeping me awake.
You can use this HART technique for any situation. For example, if you are concerned about not getting a job, then burn that worry away and imagine that you are working in the perfect environment. When you are worried about being able to pay your bills, or the house not selling, do the same process.
Basically, you are releasing the negative images and thoughts and changing them to positive ones. This is amazingly powerful because your positive thoughts and images can help you create a happy, healthy, and successful life. However, you need to release the negative first. The analogy is that you have to clean out your drawer to make room for the new.
Why do we frequently go directly to the negative side of things? Often, we learned that pattern of behavior from our parents who learned it from their parents and so on. Worrying does not serve you or anyone else, and it can be an unconscious habit.
It is helpful to realize that you can release that way of functioning and focus on a more positive approach. I suggest that you set your intent to pay attention to what you are saying, thinking, and imagining. As soon as you are aware of your negativity, use the HART process to switch to being positive. You will probably find yourself healthier and happier. You may even be able to say, "I don't worry any more. I have trust that I have the power to attract good in my life."
About The Author
Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, Family Therapist. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART! Create Love, Joy and Abundance~NOW." For her free newsletter, MP3 audio, and ebook, go to: http://www.helenerothschild.com . Note the fantastic limited time special offer: http://www.helenerothschild.com/specialoffer.html
From Zero to Hero by: Lance Ong
There are many distractions is the world nowadays... we have tons of books to read, endless movies to watch, cable TV, never-ending email, the Internet, newspaper, magazines, and games. Then there is the survival stuff you've got to do if you live by yourself – cooking, laundry, buying groceries, cleaning house, washing dishes, ironing, scrubbing the toilet (at least once in a while), making your bed, and even feeding the cat! And let's not forget that we still have to maintain our social relationships (friends), romantic relationships, children (if you have any), and go to work at the same time. By the way, if you're still a student then your job is studying.
Amidst all this confusion, it's easy to lose your purpose; easy to forget your goals and where you want to go. Let me tell you about a little trap people get stuck in when they're young.... In certain western countries, the children move out of the house to live by themselves around 17 or 18 years of age. They rent a room or apartment, get a job, buy their own groceries, study part or full-time, and rock their socks off on weekends. Actually, this may have positive effects. Living on their own forces them to learn how to take care of themselves, and studies also show that people with their own places, have more romantic encounters than those who live with their parents. But the problem I see here is that young people get caught up in the earning-spending cycle – they spend whatever they earn – and every year, you'll see them working behind the same counter, doing the same job, just surviving but not thriving. They've become too comfortable with their lifestyle of working and partying – they are in a state of limbo.
I admit that here I am making a value judgment; as if to say that this state of limbo is a bad thing. This may or may not be true; it really depends on which culture you are brought up in. Certain societies are upwardly mobile – the people are enculturated to be Yuppies. They want to be young and rich, so everything about them is business, image, reputation; sports car, flash cash, credit cards etc. On the other hand we have societies which are relaxed, the people do not make as much money, but are more attuned to their own interests and actively engage with what they like to do. Which lifestyle delivers greater happiness to the individual? Which path should a person pursue to live a significant life?
I have a friend who faced this dilemma. Her passion is cooking and she wants to be a caterer or restaurant owner. She even took a degree program in culinary arts. But her problem was that she did not have enough money to start a catering business or restaurant, and neither did she want to borrow from family or friends. So where does that leave her? Working as a chef, it would take several years to accumulate enough capital to start a business of her own. She owned no property to mortgage for a loan and no valuables to pawn off for cash. Her solution was to join a multi-level marketing company, believing it was the Holy Grail of fast cash. She urged me to join her network, but I told her that my past experience with MLM was difficult, and that she should not spend her time on it. Not because it can’t work, but because it’s one of the hardest ways to earn a living if you’re not a born salesperson. Every time you approach someone, you are met with a scowl of skepticism. The only people who respond positively are those who either never heard of it, or who are already in it. I really have to salute those who are still persisting in this industry. I told her that if her passion was in cooking, she should immediately go to work in the culinary field and ignore all alternative money-making plans. I told her that she could make all the money she needed doing what she loved to do… but alas she didn’t believe me.
Should a person chase the money or chase their passion? My suggestion is that if you know what you want, then make a beeline for it. Life is short; too short to spend meandering towards your goals. Many people spend their entire lives doing what they don’t like, in the hope that one day, they can finally start doing what they do like. The sad thing is, if you don’t start on your chosen direction early, the day of arrival may never come because you could get washed off course by the sea of life.
It doesn't matter where you are now – dead-end job, still in school, or broke without a penny – what matters is that you have a goal in mind, and are actively completing the next task to get you closer to your dreams. Sometimes our paths are not so straightforward, the road twists and obstacles may appear. But as long as you keep working on solutions, you can hop around obstacles, and maybe even blaze a new trail. The problem comes when you have no goal – no vision of a better future. That's when the distractions (TV, partying, and routine work) come in to fill the boredom and lack of forward focus. So keep your eyes on the target my friend, and avoid complacency. If you’re not clear on what you want to do, then you’ve got to take a time-out and think about it. Otherwise, you risk running for causes which take your time and energy, but ultimately leave you no lasting fulfillment.
About The Author
Lance Ong
If you want to gain clarity of purpose and achieve your fullest potential, join the Life Success Forum at http://www.DestinyLab.com.au
Amidst all this confusion, it's easy to lose your purpose; easy to forget your goals and where you want to go. Let me tell you about a little trap people get stuck in when they're young.... In certain western countries, the children move out of the house to live by themselves around 17 or 18 years of age. They rent a room or apartment, get a job, buy their own groceries, study part or full-time, and rock their socks off on weekends. Actually, this may have positive effects. Living on their own forces them to learn how to take care of themselves, and studies also show that people with their own places, have more romantic encounters than those who live with their parents. But the problem I see here is that young people get caught up in the earning-spending cycle – they spend whatever they earn – and every year, you'll see them working behind the same counter, doing the same job, just surviving but not thriving. They've become too comfortable with their lifestyle of working and partying – they are in a state of limbo.
I admit that here I am making a value judgment; as if to say that this state of limbo is a bad thing. This may or may not be true; it really depends on which culture you are brought up in. Certain societies are upwardly mobile – the people are enculturated to be Yuppies. They want to be young and rich, so everything about them is business, image, reputation; sports car, flash cash, credit cards etc. On the other hand we have societies which are relaxed, the people do not make as much money, but are more attuned to their own interests and actively engage with what they like to do. Which lifestyle delivers greater happiness to the individual? Which path should a person pursue to live a significant life?
I have a friend who faced this dilemma. Her passion is cooking and she wants to be a caterer or restaurant owner. She even took a degree program in culinary arts. But her problem was that she did not have enough money to start a catering business or restaurant, and neither did she want to borrow from family or friends. So where does that leave her? Working as a chef, it would take several years to accumulate enough capital to start a business of her own. She owned no property to mortgage for a loan and no valuables to pawn off for cash. Her solution was to join a multi-level marketing company, believing it was the Holy Grail of fast cash. She urged me to join her network, but I told her that my past experience with MLM was difficult, and that she should not spend her time on it. Not because it can’t work, but because it’s one of the hardest ways to earn a living if you’re not a born salesperson. Every time you approach someone, you are met with a scowl of skepticism. The only people who respond positively are those who either never heard of it, or who are already in it. I really have to salute those who are still persisting in this industry. I told her that if her passion was in cooking, she should immediately go to work in the culinary field and ignore all alternative money-making plans. I told her that she could make all the money she needed doing what she loved to do… but alas she didn’t believe me.
Should a person chase the money or chase their passion? My suggestion is that if you know what you want, then make a beeline for it. Life is short; too short to spend meandering towards your goals. Many people spend their entire lives doing what they don’t like, in the hope that one day, they can finally start doing what they do like. The sad thing is, if you don’t start on your chosen direction early, the day of arrival may never come because you could get washed off course by the sea of life.
It doesn't matter where you are now – dead-end job, still in school, or broke without a penny – what matters is that you have a goal in mind, and are actively completing the next task to get you closer to your dreams. Sometimes our paths are not so straightforward, the road twists and obstacles may appear. But as long as you keep working on solutions, you can hop around obstacles, and maybe even blaze a new trail. The problem comes when you have no goal – no vision of a better future. That's when the distractions (TV, partying, and routine work) come in to fill the boredom and lack of forward focus. So keep your eyes on the target my friend, and avoid complacency. If you’re not clear on what you want to do, then you’ve got to take a time-out and think about it. Otherwise, you risk running for causes which take your time and energy, but ultimately leave you no lasting fulfillment.
About The Author
Lance Ong
If you want to gain clarity of purpose and achieve your fullest potential, join the Life Success Forum at http://www.DestinyLab.com.au
Unconditional Love Has Spiritual Advantages by: Richard Blackstone
Which sounds better to you, conditional love or unconditional love? Let us explore the concept of unconditional love and see the natural consequences of this concept.
We must first acknowledge that the ramifications of what we are talking about here are not just when boy meets girl and they fall in “love.” All too often in our society, when we speak of love it is in the limited description of love between humans. This is an important aspect of love because it is one of our base relationships, but it is still just one aspect of “love.”
We can go so far as to say when we are “making love,” we define it strictly as “having sex.” In fact, often in our society, “having sex” would be a very poor description of “making love.” Could we not also be “making love” if we are baking chocolate chip cookies? Or could we not be “making love” if we are walking in the woods observing nature?
We are not going to put limits on the love described as unconditional love because everything and every experience is love based and inherent to the paradigm that God and we are one and at our core we are love. Just as we understand that a judging and condemning God can only give us conditional love, so we also understand that a non-judgmental and accepting God can only give us unconditional love.
Unconditional love, as a concept, is love-based. That sounds a lot better than conditional love, as a concept, that is fear-based. If we speak of love we don't want it based in fear do we? We want it based in love. This may sound kind of silly but it goes to the heart of the issue of why we, and our societies, do some of the insane things we do.
Unconditional love would never tell us to make war and kill people if they didn't believe in God the way we do, because unconditional love would not judge or condemn the way that another person in our society believes. Unconditional love would be accepting of those beliefs. Only fear would cause such insane actions. Fear, and the idea that you are separate from, and superior to, those who don't believe as you do.
If you are separate from the people you kill in the name of God, it relieves you from the responsibility of their death. You are not them and it is not your fault that they don't think of God the same way you do. If they had, you wouldn't have had to kill them. They brought on their own death by knowingly not conforming to your standards.
This sounds pretty arrogant doesn't it? It sounds like something a bully would say. It is sometimes funny how nations talk to each other just like bullies on a playground. The same mentality is going on because bullies feel separate from and superior to those they wish to bully around.
When you come from the perspective that we are all one and the love we have for one another is an unconditional love, then the idea of killing another because he views life from a different perspective, would seem to be pretty abhorrent behavior.
Because what you do to another you do to yourself. In effect, in the killing of another, you are killing a part of yourself. This behavior makes no sense when you are coming from the base mentality of oneness.
When you are coming from this reality of oneness you cannot relieve yourself from the responsibility of your actions. You are accountable for what you do. Your actions are your creations. Conscious creations or unconscious creations, they are your creations and you need to be accountable for them.
When you live with unconditional love you accept and rejoice in all your creations. You don't judge your creations and call them bad or good, or right or wrong. You observe your creations and see if they serve you or not. If they do not serve you, then you choose another thought and create that.
The key here is to love your self unconditionally. When you can stop judging yourself and accept who you are as the magnificent and perfect manifestation of one of God's spirit children, then you are on your way to acceptance of all that you create. We all need to start with ourselves.
Indeed, remember this: your very first creation on this life journey here on earth was when you created the person that you are now. You chose who you were going to be before you entered this physical plane. If you do not accept and love who you are, you are condemning your original creation and not taking responsibility for the magnificent creature you call yourself. Love yourself first and foremost. See the beauty within and love the essence that you are unconditionally.
If you love yourself unconditionally you will love God unconditionally because you and God are one. You will bring a balance to your life because God loves you unconditionally too.
That is what we are talking about here. We bring the balance back into our lives that is missing when we think of ourselves as just a body with a mind. It is the spiritual side of the equation that opens the door to unconditional love. Because unconditional love, like the spirit, resides within us. It is our core.
Conditional love, like the body, is external and reacts to external stimuli. Unconditional love, like the soul, is internal and doesn't have to react to external stimuli. Unconditional love just is and you can tap into it anytime you like in any exterior expression of yourself that you choose. It is always there when you want it. It is part of your source. All you need do is tap into your source.
About The Author
Richard Blackstone is an award winning author and international speaker on Love, Oneness & Creation. Journey into discovery of Self by reading this FREE report; "The 3 Simple Immutable Laws of the Universe" at: http://www.NutsandBoltsSpirituality.com
We must first acknowledge that the ramifications of what we are talking about here are not just when boy meets girl and they fall in “love.” All too often in our society, when we speak of love it is in the limited description of love between humans. This is an important aspect of love because it is one of our base relationships, but it is still just one aspect of “love.”
We can go so far as to say when we are “making love,” we define it strictly as “having sex.” In fact, often in our society, “having sex” would be a very poor description of “making love.” Could we not also be “making love” if we are baking chocolate chip cookies? Or could we not be “making love” if we are walking in the woods observing nature?
We are not going to put limits on the love described as unconditional love because everything and every experience is love based and inherent to the paradigm that God and we are one and at our core we are love. Just as we understand that a judging and condemning God can only give us conditional love, so we also understand that a non-judgmental and accepting God can only give us unconditional love.
Unconditional love, as a concept, is love-based. That sounds a lot better than conditional love, as a concept, that is fear-based. If we speak of love we don't want it based in fear do we? We want it based in love. This may sound kind of silly but it goes to the heart of the issue of why we, and our societies, do some of the insane things we do.
Unconditional love would never tell us to make war and kill people if they didn't believe in God the way we do, because unconditional love would not judge or condemn the way that another person in our society believes. Unconditional love would be accepting of those beliefs. Only fear would cause such insane actions. Fear, and the idea that you are separate from, and superior to, those who don't believe as you do.
If you are separate from the people you kill in the name of God, it relieves you from the responsibility of their death. You are not them and it is not your fault that they don't think of God the same way you do. If they had, you wouldn't have had to kill them. They brought on their own death by knowingly not conforming to your standards.
This sounds pretty arrogant doesn't it? It sounds like something a bully would say. It is sometimes funny how nations talk to each other just like bullies on a playground. The same mentality is going on because bullies feel separate from and superior to those they wish to bully around.
When you come from the perspective that we are all one and the love we have for one another is an unconditional love, then the idea of killing another because he views life from a different perspective, would seem to be pretty abhorrent behavior.
Because what you do to another you do to yourself. In effect, in the killing of another, you are killing a part of yourself. This behavior makes no sense when you are coming from the base mentality of oneness.
When you are coming from this reality of oneness you cannot relieve yourself from the responsibility of your actions. You are accountable for what you do. Your actions are your creations. Conscious creations or unconscious creations, they are your creations and you need to be accountable for them.
When you live with unconditional love you accept and rejoice in all your creations. You don't judge your creations and call them bad or good, or right or wrong. You observe your creations and see if they serve you or not. If they do not serve you, then you choose another thought and create that.
The key here is to love your self unconditionally. When you can stop judging yourself and accept who you are as the magnificent and perfect manifestation of one of God's spirit children, then you are on your way to acceptance of all that you create. We all need to start with ourselves.
Indeed, remember this: your very first creation on this life journey here on earth was when you created the person that you are now. You chose who you were going to be before you entered this physical plane. If you do not accept and love who you are, you are condemning your original creation and not taking responsibility for the magnificent creature you call yourself. Love yourself first and foremost. See the beauty within and love the essence that you are unconditionally.
If you love yourself unconditionally you will love God unconditionally because you and God are one. You will bring a balance to your life because God loves you unconditionally too.
That is what we are talking about here. We bring the balance back into our lives that is missing when we think of ourselves as just a body with a mind. It is the spiritual side of the equation that opens the door to unconditional love. Because unconditional love, like the spirit, resides within us. It is our core.
Conditional love, like the body, is external and reacts to external stimuli. Unconditional love, like the soul, is internal and doesn't have to react to external stimuli. Unconditional love just is and you can tap into it anytime you like in any exterior expression of yourself that you choose. It is always there when you want it. It is part of your source. All you need do is tap into your source.
About The Author
Richard Blackstone is an award winning author and international speaker on Love, Oneness & Creation. Journey into discovery of Self by reading this FREE report; "The 3 Simple Immutable Laws of the Universe" at: http://www.NutsandBoltsSpirituality.com
Public Speaking - How to be Sure You Look and Sound Just Right by: Tony Hall
Do you think that if you knew that you looked and sounded just right, that your confidence to get up and make a speech would be boosted? Would your public speaking fears be banished by having the knowledge that the way you present yourself reflects a confident and assured speaker to all those who see you? Well in my experience it most certainly would and I have a way that might just help.
You see when I first went on a presentation skills course many years ago I had no confidence at all in my own ability to speak in front of an audience. The mere thought of it would bring me out in a cold sweat and I would be overwhelmed by nerves. The idea of me giving an assured and confident presentation in front of any audience seemed ridiculous. But within a couple of days all that changed!
The course was very much hands-on and involved role play routines and we went through the whole process of putting together a presentation. We learned how to research it, plan it and how to give it the correct structure. Then we formed up into pairs and actually filmed each other doing our talk.
Now if you've ever heard your voice on a recording you will know how it always sounds totally different to how you expect. So you can imagine what it was like to sit and watch the recording of our films.
It was quite a shock to see myself, but it was also a real education.
I could look at how I stood, examine the movements I made, and despair at how little I smiled. I was also able to listen to the tone of my voice, see where I did or didn't put pauses and hear the intonation and emphasis in my talk.
We had the chance to identify the good bits and to see where we could make changes to make it better. Then when we had done that we filmed it all over again.
The improvement was amazing and we got to keep the recordings so that we could show them to family and friends. When I showed mine the positive feedback was great and I've never looked back since. Seeing myself making that presentation really boosted my confidence and it can do the same for you.
So do whatever you can to get a way of filming yourself, you may even be able to set up a camcorder, or even just a webcam, and do it yourself if you prefer not to have anyone else present. I would recommend though that you involve someone you know and trust as their opinion will be invaluable.
Simply prepare a short speech, no more than five minutes, and film it. Then see how you look and sound. Examine the following:
- How you look.
- Do you smile enough?
- Your movements
- Your body language
- The tone of your voice
- Where and when you take pauses
- Your breathing
- Your intonation and pitch.
Decide what is good and what you can make better. Then do it all again, a number of times if you have to. Then, when you are happy with how you look and sound, be brave and show it to someone else. I'll be very surprised if they are not full of praise and give you lots of positive feedback.
Then you can be proud and confident that you can get up and talk to anyone knowing that you'll look and sound just right.
About The Author
This article was written by Tony Hall who runs his own business providing individuals with personal and business skills development. You can learn more about developing your public speaking skills by visiting the website at: http://www.selfimprovementskills.com/publicspeaking.html
You see when I first went on a presentation skills course many years ago I had no confidence at all in my own ability to speak in front of an audience. The mere thought of it would bring me out in a cold sweat and I would be overwhelmed by nerves. The idea of me giving an assured and confident presentation in front of any audience seemed ridiculous. But within a couple of days all that changed!
The course was very much hands-on and involved role play routines and we went through the whole process of putting together a presentation. We learned how to research it, plan it and how to give it the correct structure. Then we formed up into pairs and actually filmed each other doing our talk.
Now if you've ever heard your voice on a recording you will know how it always sounds totally different to how you expect. So you can imagine what it was like to sit and watch the recording of our films.
It was quite a shock to see myself, but it was also a real education.
I could look at how I stood, examine the movements I made, and despair at how little I smiled. I was also able to listen to the tone of my voice, see where I did or didn't put pauses and hear the intonation and emphasis in my talk.
We had the chance to identify the good bits and to see where we could make changes to make it better. Then when we had done that we filmed it all over again.
The improvement was amazing and we got to keep the recordings so that we could show them to family and friends. When I showed mine the positive feedback was great and I've never looked back since. Seeing myself making that presentation really boosted my confidence and it can do the same for you.
So do whatever you can to get a way of filming yourself, you may even be able to set up a camcorder, or even just a webcam, and do it yourself if you prefer not to have anyone else present. I would recommend though that you involve someone you know and trust as their opinion will be invaluable.
Simply prepare a short speech, no more than five minutes, and film it. Then see how you look and sound. Examine the following:
- How you look.
- Do you smile enough?
- Your movements
- Your body language
- The tone of your voice
- Where and when you take pauses
- Your breathing
- Your intonation and pitch.
Decide what is good and what you can make better. Then do it all again, a number of times if you have to. Then, when you are happy with how you look and sound, be brave and show it to someone else. I'll be very surprised if they are not full of praise and give you lots of positive feedback.
Then you can be proud and confident that you can get up and talk to anyone knowing that you'll look and sound just right.
About The Author
This article was written by Tony Hall who runs his own business providing individuals with personal and business skills development. You can learn more about developing your public speaking skills by visiting the website at: http://www.selfimprovementskills.com/publicspeaking.html
The Many Faces Of Anger by: Laura B. Young, LMFT
Having over thirty years experience as a psychotherapist, I have seen anger expressed in many of its forms, by omission and commission. Usually we have a way of expressing anger that is our signature, that is a way of being angry that we resort to over and over again, when we are in conflict. Habits have power because usually, we are unaware and we react unconsciously or automatically. Think for instance of where you place your tooth-brush. Every morning you reach in the same direction, without conscious thought unless it has been moved. Moving it breaks the automatic habit, as you become aware and notice you have to reach in a different direction. Many of our daily routines are similar response, i.e. automatic.
Like feelings in general, anger in and of itself is not good or bad. Its just a feeling. Feelings well up in us, as urges to go to the bathroom well up, without conscious invitation. It’s what you do with the feelings that will make a difference in the quality of your life and how it affects those near and dear. Most of us do not know, how to express anger appropriately, we’ve never been taught. Anger is feared, denied, projected and denounced. Often people associate any expression of anger with the extreme end of the spectrum, that of violence. Often and especially in relationships, it is the inability to express anger properly, that can escalate into violence.
On an anger spectrum; at one end we see irritability, grumpiness, negativity, criticism, resentment and judgemental behavior. These are milder forms of anger, but anger nonetheless. Our society seems to be more tolerant of the lesser forms, and our family conditioning allows it. Maybe because it is so prevalent, it is not addressed for what it really is, inappropriate anger. In the middle, is anger that has less intensity and is more amenable to appropriate expression. As it moves towards the other side, we encounter greater intensity as rage, fury, indignation and wrath. These levels of anger indicate on some level, a loss of control, a level of destructiveness verging on madness and violence. Wrath often implies not only rage and moral indignation but also a desire to punish. So where are you on this spectrum? Generally every individual has a troublesome spot. I read a quote from a Master who lived in the mountains. He answered several of life’s hard questions for the inquirer without hesitation. When asked how to handle anger, he broke his walking stick in half and bellowed “Do you think I’d be living alone in this deserted place if I had the answer to that?” Sooner or later we all have to come down from the mountain, and deal with fellow humans in the market place. Someone is invariably going to step on our toe, …. it!!
As a clinician, except for violent people, who take an extreme position and I very seldom work with, it’s the “nice nice’ anger avoiders, or deniers that give me the most trouble. If you are not willing or able to become aware of how you act out or project your anger, its like pulling teeth. They deny their anger, or fear it and fear it in others. They are also more likely to project it onto others. Not me, but them. Often avoiders have since childhood pushed down any version of angry feelings and may not be able to identify how it reveals itself in their lives. Maybe in childhood they were afraid to express, or lived in a violent home where an individual expressing could lead to violence. Nobody helped them differentiate violence from normal levels of dissatisfaction.
Sometimes it’s a woman living the “Christian Way”, who has mistakenly misinterpreted assertiveness and personal power, as aggressive, and non Christian. This is a hard nut to crack. One woman with the above profile, had Bible quote answers for many things including “turning the other cheek”. She however loved to attend boxing matches, and football games. She was videoed by her son, yelling “kill him, kill him” when she got fired up at these public spectator sports. Monday morning she was back to her “other cheek” way. She was unable to connect the dots as to how she projected her denied rage onto others. Her three children felt unheard, and experienced having no permission to express anything that wasn’t sweetness and light in her presence. When they grew to young adulthood, they limited their contact with her. She asked over and over “why are you upset with me?” “I haven’t done anything” She couldn’t express her own anger, and caused her children and others about her to feel guilty when they had their feelings. This mother was in fact a crazy maker, and it was sane of the children to keep their distance. She controlled others and frustrated them with avoidance, forgetting, being self righteous, thwarting plans, being late, etc. This behavior is so nebulous, one can’t get it out of the vapors, and make sense of it. You feel the disconnect with reality, but its hard for the average person to put a finger on exactly what is going on. Even in treatment such people usually have to be in a life altering crisis, to surrender their mask or ego, long enough to see the cracks in their cosmic egg.
I’m much prefer to work with anger that is available. Sometimes it is not pretty, its down right toxic, however its more available for exploration and change, than the suppressed and the denied. Anger is passion which indicates there is energy available for work if a person is ready to change. It is a big “if” due to the fact some people are addicted to anger. In the moment of their explosion, they feel powerful and for others it is a “rush” a high, that makes them feel at least temporarily more alive. The habit of anger then feeds the addiction as they get a surge of adrenalin and other feel good hormones. At this point it becomes more than a bad habit, its emotional excitement. You know of people who create some drama when life evens out. For people who rely on their anger in this way, the intense feelings keep their life from being dull, because they haven’t learned other ways of experiencing personal power.
You and I know that daily we rub up against situations that can if we allow it will trigger our anger. As matter of fact if we reacted to every opportunity to become angry, we’d be constantly angry. How about people who carry a well of shame, a high level of sensitivity and low self esteem. The slightest criticism sets off all three of the above stated characteristics. It can become explosive and blaming as well as projected on to whomever gets in their way. Usually their buttons have been pushed and inside of the raging adult is a child possessed, feeling vulnerable and out of control. Road rage is such an example. “How dare you cut me off, as others cut me off in the past, and I am justified in my rage toward you and a wanting to hurt you.” Of course all of this isn’t thought out, it a reaction to what is smoldering in the persons unconscious. The evidence of what is in the unconscious is the menancing, excessive, out of proportion , out of control behavior.
Some people suffer from black and white thinking, failing to be flexible enough to include others who are different. This concrete way of looking at a the world is quite prevalent in children until the age of reason. Some people get stuck at this level of development, and have a simplistic view of the world. This group spews moralistic anger towards others, when those others have broken the rules. Its as if they have a patent on what is right in the world and in order to protect it, they make others wrong. The offenders are labeled by this self-righteous group as bad, evil, wicked, sinful and deserve to be punished. So if one is different from the tribe, or from the church group, one may be harshly judged. It is interesting at times to look at the lives of the judges of how others should be. The ridigity of the frame they put around how others should live, is often frightening. What is more frightening is that this kind of thinking and anger is very prevalent in out society, at every level, from the highest offices to the person in the street. Such people claim moral superiority.
Hate happens when a person doesn’t resolve anger and allows no window of compassion or forgiveness to enter. Its really a hardened anger when one person decides that another person in totally wrong or evil or both. Its usually the cause of ongoing rumination, in the hater, who despises the offender and won’t let go or soften towards him or her. Sometimes the hater experiences secondary gain by seeing themselves as innocent and a victim.
You may see yourself in one or more of the examples I have given. You may wonder if you are able to change a life long habit of this nature. The first step is to become aware of what you do and how you do it. If you have an intention and willingness to change the way you express anger, it is certainly doable. Next time I’ll start with tools to address different modes of anger and the problems it causes in your life.
About The Author
Laura B. Young, LMFT
For more information you can visit Laura's site at http://www.LifeResourceCenter.net
Like feelings in general, anger in and of itself is not good or bad. Its just a feeling. Feelings well up in us, as urges to go to the bathroom well up, without conscious invitation. It’s what you do with the feelings that will make a difference in the quality of your life and how it affects those near and dear. Most of us do not know, how to express anger appropriately, we’ve never been taught. Anger is feared, denied, projected and denounced. Often people associate any expression of anger with the extreme end of the spectrum, that of violence. Often and especially in relationships, it is the inability to express anger properly, that can escalate into violence.
On an anger spectrum; at one end we see irritability, grumpiness, negativity, criticism, resentment and judgemental behavior. These are milder forms of anger, but anger nonetheless. Our society seems to be more tolerant of the lesser forms, and our family conditioning allows it. Maybe because it is so prevalent, it is not addressed for what it really is, inappropriate anger. In the middle, is anger that has less intensity and is more amenable to appropriate expression. As it moves towards the other side, we encounter greater intensity as rage, fury, indignation and wrath. These levels of anger indicate on some level, a loss of control, a level of destructiveness verging on madness and violence. Wrath often implies not only rage and moral indignation but also a desire to punish. So where are you on this spectrum? Generally every individual has a troublesome spot. I read a quote from a Master who lived in the mountains. He answered several of life’s hard questions for the inquirer without hesitation. When asked how to handle anger, he broke his walking stick in half and bellowed “Do you think I’d be living alone in this deserted place if I had the answer to that?” Sooner or later we all have to come down from the mountain, and deal with fellow humans in the market place. Someone is invariably going to step on our toe, …. it!!
As a clinician, except for violent people, who take an extreme position and I very seldom work with, it’s the “nice nice’ anger avoiders, or deniers that give me the most trouble. If you are not willing or able to become aware of how you act out or project your anger, its like pulling teeth. They deny their anger, or fear it and fear it in others. They are also more likely to project it onto others. Not me, but them. Often avoiders have since childhood pushed down any version of angry feelings and may not be able to identify how it reveals itself in their lives. Maybe in childhood they were afraid to express, or lived in a violent home where an individual expressing could lead to violence. Nobody helped them differentiate violence from normal levels of dissatisfaction.
Sometimes it’s a woman living the “Christian Way”, who has mistakenly misinterpreted assertiveness and personal power, as aggressive, and non Christian. This is a hard nut to crack. One woman with the above profile, had Bible quote answers for many things including “turning the other cheek”. She however loved to attend boxing matches, and football games. She was videoed by her son, yelling “kill him, kill him” when she got fired up at these public spectator sports. Monday morning she was back to her “other cheek” way. She was unable to connect the dots as to how she projected her denied rage onto others. Her three children felt unheard, and experienced having no permission to express anything that wasn’t sweetness and light in her presence. When they grew to young adulthood, they limited their contact with her. She asked over and over “why are you upset with me?” “I haven’t done anything” She couldn’t express her own anger, and caused her children and others about her to feel guilty when they had their feelings. This mother was in fact a crazy maker, and it was sane of the children to keep their distance. She controlled others and frustrated them with avoidance, forgetting, being self righteous, thwarting plans, being late, etc. This behavior is so nebulous, one can’t get it out of the vapors, and make sense of it. You feel the disconnect with reality, but its hard for the average person to put a finger on exactly what is going on. Even in treatment such people usually have to be in a life altering crisis, to surrender their mask or ego, long enough to see the cracks in their cosmic egg.
I’m much prefer to work with anger that is available. Sometimes it is not pretty, its down right toxic, however its more available for exploration and change, than the suppressed and the denied. Anger is passion which indicates there is energy available for work if a person is ready to change. It is a big “if” due to the fact some people are addicted to anger. In the moment of their explosion, they feel powerful and for others it is a “rush” a high, that makes them feel at least temporarily more alive. The habit of anger then feeds the addiction as they get a surge of adrenalin and other feel good hormones. At this point it becomes more than a bad habit, its emotional excitement. You know of people who create some drama when life evens out. For people who rely on their anger in this way, the intense feelings keep their life from being dull, because they haven’t learned other ways of experiencing personal power.
You and I know that daily we rub up against situations that can if we allow it will trigger our anger. As matter of fact if we reacted to every opportunity to become angry, we’d be constantly angry. How about people who carry a well of shame, a high level of sensitivity and low self esteem. The slightest criticism sets off all three of the above stated characteristics. It can become explosive and blaming as well as projected on to whomever gets in their way. Usually their buttons have been pushed and inside of the raging adult is a child possessed, feeling vulnerable and out of control. Road rage is such an example. “How dare you cut me off, as others cut me off in the past, and I am justified in my rage toward you and a wanting to hurt you.” Of course all of this isn’t thought out, it a reaction to what is smoldering in the persons unconscious. The evidence of what is in the unconscious is the menancing, excessive, out of proportion , out of control behavior.
Some people suffer from black and white thinking, failing to be flexible enough to include others who are different. This concrete way of looking at a the world is quite prevalent in children until the age of reason. Some people get stuck at this level of development, and have a simplistic view of the world. This group spews moralistic anger towards others, when those others have broken the rules. Its as if they have a patent on what is right in the world and in order to protect it, they make others wrong. The offenders are labeled by this self-righteous group as bad, evil, wicked, sinful and deserve to be punished. So if one is different from the tribe, or from the church group, one may be harshly judged. It is interesting at times to look at the lives of the judges of how others should be. The ridigity of the frame they put around how others should live, is often frightening. What is more frightening is that this kind of thinking and anger is very prevalent in out society, at every level, from the highest offices to the person in the street. Such people claim moral superiority.
Hate happens when a person doesn’t resolve anger and allows no window of compassion or forgiveness to enter. Its really a hardened anger when one person decides that another person in totally wrong or evil or both. Its usually the cause of ongoing rumination, in the hater, who despises the offender and won’t let go or soften towards him or her. Sometimes the hater experiences secondary gain by seeing themselves as innocent and a victim.
You may see yourself in one or more of the examples I have given. You may wonder if you are able to change a life long habit of this nature. The first step is to become aware of what you do and how you do it. If you have an intention and willingness to change the way you express anger, it is certainly doable. Next time I’ll start with tools to address different modes of anger and the problems it causes in your life.
About The Author
Laura B. Young, LMFT
For more information you can visit Laura's site at http://www.LifeResourceCenter.net
Do Memory Games Work by: Gregory Frost
There are many different kinds of memory games that are gaining popularity among people today, but do they really work? Research has shown that learning new things, doing puzzles and playing games helps the mind stay active and to help stimulate it. However, the most effective memory games allow you to improve your memory capacity and practice abstract thinking instead of just plaining help it stay active or to stimulate it only.
Just as we go to the gym and engage in exercise to increase our physical fitness, the brain has to be kept stretching to strengthen in throughout our life. Similarly, we all know that if a bodybuilder were to slacken off and stop training, his muscles will soon turn into fats and become flabby, which is a disaster for any bodybuilder. Our brain will turn "flabby" too if we stop using it. Early studies have shown that 20 minutes of exercise 3 times a week will help in stimulating the mind, strengthening attention spans and memory recall abilities. These exercises need not to be extremely intensive but actually, simple but interactive activities can help keep our mind active also.
Memory loss occurs as we age, and whilst there is little we can do to prevent it, we can definitely slow it down. Memory games are one form of doing so, as are regular physical exercise and a healthy lifestyle. However, to maximize the benefits of memory games, you should pair it with a change in your diet and light physical exercise. It is healthier to have a balance in everything rather than doing excessive change in a particular area of your life while leaving the others the same. Chess and other card games are useful only if balanced with good playing habits, as staying still for extended periods can cause abdominal obesity.
Playing these games with friends is also beneficial. There is much anecdotal evidence that such memory games are helpful, as playing these games and puzzles stimulates the mind and keeps it active. These games have also been shown to boost the dendrites in your brain that are responsible for processing information. Dr. Michael Valenzuela, a clinical neuroscience research fellow at the University of New South Wales’ School of Psychiatry, says games like wordplay are effective in preventing Alzheimer's disease. Furthermore, games that require you to think or formulate words such as scrabble not only improves your memory, but can improve your language too and not to mention your ability to strategize.
Studies on adults who engage in memory exercises and games have shown a marked decrease in brain metabolism in the area of the brain directly linked to working memory and other cognitive functions, suggesting that they were using their brains more efficiently. Most people fail to realize that they are in control of their mind, even as they get older, and that the condition of their mind is solely dependent on them to look after. Simple lifestyle changes can go a long way towards improving your memory and brain, as well as your overall health.
About The Author
Greg Frost is a leading innovator in the memory field, and he specializes in helping people improve and develop their photographic memory. To find out more on how to deal with memory loss, learn advanced memory techniques, and have all your questions regarding memory answered, visit this site: http://www.photographic-memory.org
Just as we go to the gym and engage in exercise to increase our physical fitness, the brain has to be kept stretching to strengthen in throughout our life. Similarly, we all know that if a bodybuilder were to slacken off and stop training, his muscles will soon turn into fats and become flabby, which is a disaster for any bodybuilder. Our brain will turn "flabby" too if we stop using it. Early studies have shown that 20 minutes of exercise 3 times a week will help in stimulating the mind, strengthening attention spans and memory recall abilities. These exercises need not to be extremely intensive but actually, simple but interactive activities can help keep our mind active also.
Memory loss occurs as we age, and whilst there is little we can do to prevent it, we can definitely slow it down. Memory games are one form of doing so, as are regular physical exercise and a healthy lifestyle. However, to maximize the benefits of memory games, you should pair it with a change in your diet and light physical exercise. It is healthier to have a balance in everything rather than doing excessive change in a particular area of your life while leaving the others the same. Chess and other card games are useful only if balanced with good playing habits, as staying still for extended periods can cause abdominal obesity.
Playing these games with friends is also beneficial. There is much anecdotal evidence that such memory games are helpful, as playing these games and puzzles stimulates the mind and keeps it active. These games have also been shown to boost the dendrites in your brain that are responsible for processing information. Dr. Michael Valenzuela, a clinical neuroscience research fellow at the University of New South Wales’ School of Psychiatry, says games like wordplay are effective in preventing Alzheimer's disease. Furthermore, games that require you to think or formulate words such as scrabble not only improves your memory, but can improve your language too and not to mention your ability to strategize.
Studies on adults who engage in memory exercises and games have shown a marked decrease in brain metabolism in the area of the brain directly linked to working memory and other cognitive functions, suggesting that they were using their brains more efficiently. Most people fail to realize that they are in control of their mind, even as they get older, and that the condition of their mind is solely dependent on them to look after. Simple lifestyle changes can go a long way towards improving your memory and brain, as well as your overall health.
About The Author
Greg Frost is a leading innovator in the memory field, and he specializes in helping people improve and develop their photographic memory. To find out more on how to deal with memory loss, learn advanced memory techniques, and have all your questions regarding memory answered, visit this site: http://www.photographic-memory.org
Using Visualization for Stress Relief by: Iain Legg
Visualization can be a powerful tool to help you improve your life circumstances, but it can also serve as a handy technique for transforming stress and anxiety into peace, happiness and confidence!
Stress and anxiety can quickly become a vicious cycle that keep you feeling powerless and frightened. The more stressed you get, the more your thoughts and emotions will move toward the negative side, which only makes you feel more stressed!
Using visualization to transform these feelings can stop the cycle by switching your focus to something more positive and uplifting.
First and foremost, it’s helpful if you can remove yourself from the stressful environment and engage in some relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing before you begin your visualization, because your mind will be more receptive if you’re calm and centered.
Once you’ve moved yourself into a more relaxed state, bring to mind a scene that soothes and calms you. You can choose a natural setting like a beach or forest, or imagine a place that is representative of relaxation such as a spa or temple. Imagine yourself being in this place, feeling balanced and calm.
Rather than simply “seeing” the images in your mind, make an effort to mentally transport yourself to this calm setting and engage as many of your senses as you can. Imagine that you can smell the fresh air or incense in the temple; imagine that you can feel the rich earth beneath your feet, hear the roar of ocean waves or bird song, and feel the cool breeze moving through your hair. The more you can involve your senses, the more “real” the scene will seem to you, and the more effective it will be in calming you.
Stay with the visualization for as long as you like, making an effort to fully relax your body and let go of worrisome thoughts. If you’re not used to visualizing or meditating, you may have trouble keeping your focus. Your thoughts may keep returning to the situations that made you feel stressed in the first place, or you may struggle to “see” these soothing images in your mind. This is completely normal. Just keep gently returning your focus to the visualization as often as necessary, and keep in mind that once you’ve made visualization a regular practice it will get easier to stay focused.
You can keep your visualization sessions brief at the beginning, but as time goes on you may want to lengthen the time you visualize up to 30 minutes or so.
Then, whenever you find yourself feeling stressed or anxious, simply recall a mental image of your calming scene again and make an effort to mentally transport yourself back to it. You’ll probably have to exert a fair amount of effort to achieve a calmer state of mind at the beginning, but eventually you’ll be able to shift immediately to a calmer state just by thinking about it.
About The Author
Iain Legg is now giving away powerful mind power secrets in his free ecourse. Discover the most powerful visualization exercise in the universe! Free mind power course reveals all at http://www.mindpowercourse.com...
Stress and anxiety can quickly become a vicious cycle that keep you feeling powerless and frightened. The more stressed you get, the more your thoughts and emotions will move toward the negative side, which only makes you feel more stressed!
Using visualization to transform these feelings can stop the cycle by switching your focus to something more positive and uplifting.
First and foremost, it’s helpful if you can remove yourself from the stressful environment and engage in some relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing before you begin your visualization, because your mind will be more receptive if you’re calm and centered.
Once you’ve moved yourself into a more relaxed state, bring to mind a scene that soothes and calms you. You can choose a natural setting like a beach or forest, or imagine a place that is representative of relaxation such as a spa or temple. Imagine yourself being in this place, feeling balanced and calm.
Rather than simply “seeing” the images in your mind, make an effort to mentally transport yourself to this calm setting and engage as many of your senses as you can. Imagine that you can smell the fresh air or incense in the temple; imagine that you can feel the rich earth beneath your feet, hear the roar of ocean waves or bird song, and feel the cool breeze moving through your hair. The more you can involve your senses, the more “real” the scene will seem to you, and the more effective it will be in calming you.
Stay with the visualization for as long as you like, making an effort to fully relax your body and let go of worrisome thoughts. If you’re not used to visualizing or meditating, you may have trouble keeping your focus. Your thoughts may keep returning to the situations that made you feel stressed in the first place, or you may struggle to “see” these soothing images in your mind. This is completely normal. Just keep gently returning your focus to the visualization as often as necessary, and keep in mind that once you’ve made visualization a regular practice it will get easier to stay focused.
You can keep your visualization sessions brief at the beginning, but as time goes on you may want to lengthen the time you visualize up to 30 minutes or so.
Then, whenever you find yourself feeling stressed or anxious, simply recall a mental image of your calming scene again and make an effort to mentally transport yourself back to it. You’ll probably have to exert a fair amount of effort to achieve a calmer state of mind at the beginning, but eventually you’ll be able to shift immediately to a calmer state just by thinking about it.
About The Author
Iain Legg is now giving away powerful mind power secrets in his free ecourse. Discover the most powerful visualization exercise in the universe! Free mind power course reveals all at http://www.mindpowercourse.com...
Boost Your Mood with Visualization by: Iain Legg
Have you ever felt stuck in a bad mood and couldn’t seem to let it go no matter what you did? At times like this it seems like everything around you just keeps going wrong, exacerbating your negative focus and keeping you stuck.
There are many ways to improve your mood in this type of situation, but one of the quickest and easiest is through the use of creative visualization. Below are three simple visualization techniques you can use to boost your mood and change a negative mind-set into a positive one:
1) Mentally change your current situation.
When you’re feeling stuck in unpleasant circumstances, obsessing about them only makes them seem stronger and more difficult, which keeps you feeling stuck. However, with visualization you can change the situation in your own mind so that it has a completely different outcome!
Think about the way your current situation is, and ask yourself how you’d like it to be. Then, close your eyes and make it happen! Start at the beginning (you can even start at the very beginning of your day if you want), and mentally work through the situation(s) until you reach the present moment, but make everything go the way YOU want it to go.
For example, if you’re having a bad day at work, imagine having a better day where you’re smiling, feeling productive and enjoying your work. It may take several minutes to shift your feelings to match your new mental image, but it’s well worth the effort!
2) Think about something wonderful from your past.
If you’re having trouble imagining a better outcome in your current situation, you can fall back on a previous experience that made you feel happy and carry those feelings into the present moment. Think about the day you got married, your first kiss, or the time you received a heartwarming gift. Whatever memory you choose, make sure it’s wonderful and exciting and brings back a warm glow of joy and gratitude! Relive it in your mind and allow yourself to feel those good feelings again.
3) Imagine a better future.
You can also use this same process to transport yourself to a better time in the future. Think about something wonderful you want to have happen at a future time and imagine that it’s happening now! Fantasize about the day when you finally achieve your long-term goals, win the lottery, or meet your soul mate. The specifics don’t matter except that they leave you feeling excited and happy.
The trick with all of these visualization exercises is to really allow yourself to feel the feelings that the visions inspire! Just seeing the images in your mind is only the beginning part of the process. When you fully immerse yourself in these positive emotions, you’ll carry them into your present situation and end up feeling much lighter and calmer.
It’s important to note that you’ll probably have to use a bit of determination to shift your mood, even with the use of visualization. Ultimately, it’s up to you if you choose to stay stuck in negative feelings or find a way to let them go. While these techniques won’t change anything in your outer circumstances, you’ll be changing the way you PERCEIVE your circumstances – which makes you feel more positive . . . and that’s the whole point!
About The Author
Iain Legg is now giving away powerful mind power secrets in his free ecourse. Discover the most powerful visualization exercise in the universe! Free mind power course reveals all at http://www.mindpowercourse.com...
There are many ways to improve your mood in this type of situation, but one of the quickest and easiest is through the use of creative visualization. Below are three simple visualization techniques you can use to boost your mood and change a negative mind-set into a positive one:
1) Mentally change your current situation.
When you’re feeling stuck in unpleasant circumstances, obsessing about them only makes them seem stronger and more difficult, which keeps you feeling stuck. However, with visualization you can change the situation in your own mind so that it has a completely different outcome!
Think about the way your current situation is, and ask yourself how you’d like it to be. Then, close your eyes and make it happen! Start at the beginning (you can even start at the very beginning of your day if you want), and mentally work through the situation(s) until you reach the present moment, but make everything go the way YOU want it to go.
For example, if you’re having a bad day at work, imagine having a better day where you’re smiling, feeling productive and enjoying your work. It may take several minutes to shift your feelings to match your new mental image, but it’s well worth the effort!
2) Think about something wonderful from your past.
If you’re having trouble imagining a better outcome in your current situation, you can fall back on a previous experience that made you feel happy and carry those feelings into the present moment. Think about the day you got married, your first kiss, or the time you received a heartwarming gift. Whatever memory you choose, make sure it’s wonderful and exciting and brings back a warm glow of joy and gratitude! Relive it in your mind and allow yourself to feel those good feelings again.
3) Imagine a better future.
You can also use this same process to transport yourself to a better time in the future. Think about something wonderful you want to have happen at a future time and imagine that it’s happening now! Fantasize about the day when you finally achieve your long-term goals, win the lottery, or meet your soul mate. The specifics don’t matter except that they leave you feeling excited and happy.
The trick with all of these visualization exercises is to really allow yourself to feel the feelings that the visions inspire! Just seeing the images in your mind is only the beginning part of the process. When you fully immerse yourself in these positive emotions, you’ll carry them into your present situation and end up feeling much lighter and calmer.
It’s important to note that you’ll probably have to use a bit of determination to shift your mood, even with the use of visualization. Ultimately, it’s up to you if you choose to stay stuck in negative feelings or find a way to let them go. While these techniques won’t change anything in your outer circumstances, you’ll be changing the way you PERCEIVE your circumstances – which makes you feel more positive . . . and that’s the whole point!
About The Author
Iain Legg is now giving away powerful mind power secrets in his free ecourse. Discover the most powerful visualization exercise in the universe! Free mind power course reveals all at http://www.mindpowercourse.com...
The Meaning of Life by: Keith McGregor
During my spiritual development process I have often asked during my guided meditations, what the meaning of life is.
While doing my meditation exercises using my downloadable meditations, spirit gave me lots of small ideas to put together. The messages I have been given have been spread apart but very easy to place together. I have taken this opportunity to gather them together completely for the first time and offer them to you as simply as I can.
Our journey begins before birth. We decide what lessons we are going to learn on the earth plane, what we are going to go through and what our objectives are.
You see, in spirit, our true home, when we are feeling or experiencing an emotion it takes only a split second. It is simply a thought; but here, on the earth plane, we feel everything so intensely. We experience pain and love, heartbreak and anger with such power it is felt through our organic body and it can last for years.
Once we have decided and agreed on our life path and which lessons we are going to endeavour to fulfill on the earth plane, we are ready for the most traumatic thing that will ever happen to us. WE ARE CONCEIVED. We start our new organic lives squashed into the 8 basics cells of life and then over the months we grow in a dark and wet place without understanding, as all our knowledge of the universe and past lives have been hidden from us in our primal cells of life. We begin a new journey.
Yet we have not got even close to taking the biggest step on the journey! One day, when we are extremely squashed and uncomfortable in our vessel that carries and nurtures us, the vessel begins to squeeze us and push us down a short tunnel. It pushes us over and over again until we explode out of our comfort zone into a cold, bright, noisy environment where we are very afraid and have to learn new things immediately. We need to learn how to breathe.
We have arrived, yet we are helpless and unable to do much. We have to learn it all. We have to learn everything again and over the next 7 years we learn the basics we need to proceed along our long journey. The lessons that we need to learn here on the earth plane are those of emotions and feelings. If we can master the way we deal with emotions and situations on the earth plane, then when we are back in the universe, we have far more understanding of our simplest thoughts and feelings.
So for those of you whose lives have had their ups and downs, (and I know it is all of you) those ups and downs are simply the lessons of life that you need to learn and experience. Don’t think of them as good and bad, but think of them as easy and difficult learning experiences. Remember the more you learn whilst here on the earth plane, the more you are going to give back to the universe and increase your spiritual vibration and universal understanding.
And don’t forget, although some of us will suffer long difficult lessons before we go back to our spirit home, when we pass over back to our normal state of existence in the spirit realms, it only takes a second to go from organically alive back to our spiritual selves.
Hence the meaning of life is to feel and deal with your emotions. What I have learnt from this is to accept my emotions and welcome them, no matter how difficult they may be. There seems to be lots of understanding when you work on your spiritual growth.
About The Author
Keith McGregor is a partner of Strawberrysoup, a web design agency with offices in Chichester and Bournemouth. Strawberrysoup specialise in creative web design, content managed websites, search engine optimisation, search engine marketing and graphic design
http://www.strawberrysoup.co.uk/
While doing my meditation exercises using my downloadable meditations, spirit gave me lots of small ideas to put together. The messages I have been given have been spread apart but very easy to place together. I have taken this opportunity to gather them together completely for the first time and offer them to you as simply as I can.
Our journey begins before birth. We decide what lessons we are going to learn on the earth plane, what we are going to go through and what our objectives are.
You see, in spirit, our true home, when we are feeling or experiencing an emotion it takes only a split second. It is simply a thought; but here, on the earth plane, we feel everything so intensely. We experience pain and love, heartbreak and anger with such power it is felt through our organic body and it can last for years.
Once we have decided and agreed on our life path and which lessons we are going to endeavour to fulfill on the earth plane, we are ready for the most traumatic thing that will ever happen to us. WE ARE CONCEIVED. We start our new organic lives squashed into the 8 basics cells of life and then over the months we grow in a dark and wet place without understanding, as all our knowledge of the universe and past lives have been hidden from us in our primal cells of life. We begin a new journey.
Yet we have not got even close to taking the biggest step on the journey! One day, when we are extremely squashed and uncomfortable in our vessel that carries and nurtures us, the vessel begins to squeeze us and push us down a short tunnel. It pushes us over and over again until we explode out of our comfort zone into a cold, bright, noisy environment where we are very afraid and have to learn new things immediately. We need to learn how to breathe.
We have arrived, yet we are helpless and unable to do much. We have to learn it all. We have to learn everything again and over the next 7 years we learn the basics we need to proceed along our long journey. The lessons that we need to learn here on the earth plane are those of emotions and feelings. If we can master the way we deal with emotions and situations on the earth plane, then when we are back in the universe, we have far more understanding of our simplest thoughts and feelings.
So for those of you whose lives have had their ups and downs, (and I know it is all of you) those ups and downs are simply the lessons of life that you need to learn and experience. Don’t think of them as good and bad, but think of them as easy and difficult learning experiences. Remember the more you learn whilst here on the earth plane, the more you are going to give back to the universe and increase your spiritual vibration and universal understanding.
And don’t forget, although some of us will suffer long difficult lessons before we go back to our spirit home, when we pass over back to our normal state of existence in the spirit realms, it only takes a second to go from organically alive back to our spiritual selves.
Hence the meaning of life is to feel and deal with your emotions. What I have learnt from this is to accept my emotions and welcome them, no matter how difficult they may be. There seems to be lots of understanding when you work on your spiritual growth.
About The Author
Keith McGregor is a partner of Strawberrysoup, a web design agency with offices in Chichester and Bournemouth. Strawberrysoup specialise in creative web design, content managed websites, search engine optimisation, search engine marketing and graphic design
http://www.strawberrysoup.co.uk/
5 Tips for Coping with Anxiety Disorder Panic Attacks by: Greg Frost
There are various types of anxiety disorders, but the main underlying characteristic is the irrational and excessive need to worry and the fear. Panic attacks occur randomly and frequently for those who suffer from anxiety disorder. When they occur, they cause headaches, nausea, tremors and irrational fear and nervousness.
Approximately 20 million adults and children in America suffer from some form of anxiety disorder, and it is a very common problem. There are different triggers for the different types of anxiety disorders, but here are 5 tips to help you cope with the panic attacks that will occur.
Tip #1: Learn to Relax
Relaxation techniques can help you to reduce the effects of panic attack symptoms, such as headaches and sweating. By concentrating on yourself and blocking out all negative emotions and the environment around you, you can relax your body and breathing. This will lessen the intensity of the symptoms, but should not be used as an alternative from proper medical treatment.
Meditation can also help you to relax, and it is useful to practice this regular in the morning or at night. This will help you learn to calm your body and mind down. Set aside some time for yourself to relax and unwind everyday, and this will reduce the build up of stress and tension from your work or life.
Tip #2: Seek the Right Treatment
There are a variety of treatments available for anxiety disorders, and it is important to pick the right one as different treatments are more effective for different types. Medication can curb the symptoms, but it is not a quick cure, and has many side effects which are often severe. Cognitive and behavioral therapy is more suitable as it helps you come to terms with the root of your anxiety attacks, and will help you to overcome your disorder.
Tip #3: Change your Lifestyle
Take up exercise at least twice a week, to help get your body fit again. There are many forms of exercise to choose from, and possible suggestions include brisk walking or swimming. Your diet also plays a big part, and you should try to keep a well balanced diet. Cut down on processed foods and high sugar snacks. Substances such as alcohol, cigarettes and caffeine are also highly discouraged as they act as either stimulants or depressants, and can trigger your panic attacks. If you feel that your job is too stressful, consider changing to one that is more relaxed instead. After all, your health is wealth.
Tip #4: Seek Support
It is unhealthy to bottle up your emotions, and it is encouraged that you share your emotions and experiences with your friends and family. Share with them your problem, and how you are going about trying to cope and recover. They may have valuable suggestions, and if nothing else, they can help to support you emotionally. Support groups and professional counseling is also a viable alternative. Talking about your anxiety will also help you to come to terms with it, and understand the causes of your panic attacks better.
Tip #5: Self Monitoring
Take some time out to relax and unwind, and make sure your body and mind is calm. Make a list of the causes of your panic attacks, and try to identify what triggers them. Once you have done that, you can look for an appropriate solution, whether it is facing the problem or simply avoiding being in such a situation again.
About The Author
Greg Frost is a leading innovator in the field treating anxiety attacks and the director of http://www.AttackAnxiety.org which specializes providing a whole range of Anxiety Treatment topics to assist you in your life.
Approximately 20 million adults and children in America suffer from some form of anxiety disorder, and it is a very common problem. There are different triggers for the different types of anxiety disorders, but here are 5 tips to help you cope with the panic attacks that will occur.
Tip #1: Learn to Relax
Relaxation techniques can help you to reduce the effects of panic attack symptoms, such as headaches and sweating. By concentrating on yourself and blocking out all negative emotions and the environment around you, you can relax your body and breathing. This will lessen the intensity of the symptoms, but should not be used as an alternative from proper medical treatment.
Meditation can also help you to relax, and it is useful to practice this regular in the morning or at night. This will help you learn to calm your body and mind down. Set aside some time for yourself to relax and unwind everyday, and this will reduce the build up of stress and tension from your work or life.
Tip #2: Seek the Right Treatment
There are a variety of treatments available for anxiety disorders, and it is important to pick the right one as different treatments are more effective for different types. Medication can curb the symptoms, but it is not a quick cure, and has many side effects which are often severe. Cognitive and behavioral therapy is more suitable as it helps you come to terms with the root of your anxiety attacks, and will help you to overcome your disorder.
Tip #3: Change your Lifestyle
Take up exercise at least twice a week, to help get your body fit again. There are many forms of exercise to choose from, and possible suggestions include brisk walking or swimming. Your diet also plays a big part, and you should try to keep a well balanced diet. Cut down on processed foods and high sugar snacks. Substances such as alcohol, cigarettes and caffeine are also highly discouraged as they act as either stimulants or depressants, and can trigger your panic attacks. If you feel that your job is too stressful, consider changing to one that is more relaxed instead. After all, your health is wealth.
Tip #4: Seek Support
It is unhealthy to bottle up your emotions, and it is encouraged that you share your emotions and experiences with your friends and family. Share with them your problem, and how you are going about trying to cope and recover. They may have valuable suggestions, and if nothing else, they can help to support you emotionally. Support groups and professional counseling is also a viable alternative. Talking about your anxiety will also help you to come to terms with it, and understand the causes of your panic attacks better.
Tip #5: Self Monitoring
Take some time out to relax and unwind, and make sure your body and mind is calm. Make a list of the causes of your panic attacks, and try to identify what triggers them. Once you have done that, you can look for an appropriate solution, whether it is facing the problem or simply avoiding being in such a situation again.
About The Author
Greg Frost is a leading innovator in the field treating anxiety attacks and the director of http://www.AttackAnxiety.org which specializes providing a whole range of Anxiety Treatment topics to assist you in your life.
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